haven

[138]

2008-08-09T00:05:00.004+08:00

With the help of two SPS seniors, I still flunked the interview.
I should have know, really, and not add that additional grief to my already weakened ego.
My already damaged pride.
I, Yeo Huimin, was never destined to succeed.
Never.

I'm coughing, I'm sick, I'm having a fever, I'm hurt.
And I'm way past caring whether I can even wake up tomorrow.
The better to intensify my grief over my many failures.
I don't deserve relief from it anyway.
Yes, it's just one interview, it doesn't mean anything.
But enough to push me over the edge.
How can someone not burst when she's filling up so quickly?

Where are YOU?
Asleep and oblivious to the world.
HOW MUCH DO YOU CARE?

[137]

2008-08-01T00:06:00.007+08:00

It's been a long while since I last blogged.
So many things have happened since the last entry, some bitter, some sweet.

Looking back at all nineteen years of my life, I realise that I have nothing that I am proud of.
What can I be proud of?
My results?
So many regrets... I could have, I should have.
My life?
I haven't been a good friend, neither am I a good girlfriend.

I really want to be a better person.

Looking back, I realise that I have "abandoned" my friends many a time, and yet they have always been there for me.
I have always turned to them for help, and they would always be there no matter what, and yet, whenever they turn to me, I am always not around.
Like right now, when I'm in need of help, deciding which modules to take for the first semester, SY has been there for me.
She even calls me to help, talking to me for long hours, even though she has more or less settled her own timetable.
A simple gesture, but very touching nonetheless.

Right now, life is so intimidating, and I feel helpless.
It's kinda scary, to enter a brand new kind of life.
It's rubbish what they used to say, that JC life is similar to Uni life.
Similar my ass.
I know, I'm anti-social, I'll probably be one of those freaks in the background.
I just know that I can't fit in with the crowd.
I've never been social, never been popular..
I'm just me.
It's not that I care about being popular..or being labelled, I just don't want to be alone.
It sucks walking around feeling as though you're a misfit, unwanted, unnoticed...unseen.
I guess that's why I love the songs of MCR.
I feel as though I'm not alone.
And a bit braver.

Sometimes I feel as though even if I fade away, no one would notice.
Just a shadow, a passing flicker.

I watched the Dark Knight with Daniel.
It was the one movie that didn't fail my expectations, especially after the excellent review given by others.
And it was definitely very haunting.
They made an excellent choice casting Heath Ledger as the Joker.
Although I haven't watched many of his movies, I feel that he potrayed the Joker very well. With his catchy phrase, "Why so serious?", he sent a chill running down my spine every time he spoke.
Heath Ledger wasn't just the Joker, but THE Joker.
His words, though cruel and cold, are true in the sense, the ugly mirror of humanity.
Is the Joker insane, maybe?
Perhaps...
But maybe he sees the ugly side of humans so clearly that he fails to tell the difference between right and wrong any more.
Somehow, I feel that maybe the playing of the Joker affected Heath Ledger in someway..
Maybe it even had a part to play in his death.
So immersed was he in the role, that perhaps he lost himself.
But all we can do now is speculate.

After the Dark Knight, I decided to watch Brokeback Mountain, in search of Heath Ledger's other movies.
I wanted to see for myself, whether it was just, as many put it, "a gay porn movie".
And I'm glad, that at the end... I decided that it wasn't like that at all.

True, there are scenes like that... and I admit I was put off a little.
But in the end, I realised that love doensn't need any reason.
Love isn't right, and it isn't wrong.
I mean, yes, two men loving each other...
It's against the laws of nature.
But thinking about it, who defines what is natural?
If we had evolved in such a way that only same-gender relationships were acceptable... Would we have thought that different-gender relationships were wrong?
Humans are susceptible creatures, tending to follow the trend.
Looking back at years of culture... the way people think can change.
It's the way people think that defines what is right, and what is wrong.
It's the things that our young are exposed to that lets them define what is morally right or wrong.
But then again, who can say whether something is truly right or wrong?
If you were pushed to your limits, and had to rob someone of their money so that you can pay the medical fees for your ill, bed-ridden mother, you wouldn't be right... be you wouldn't be wrong, either.
Would you rather let her suffer and die instead?

Brokeback Mountain really made me think alot.
A sad, touching story.
I always thought that homophobia is wrong, and now, I can proudly say so.

[136]

2008-01-08T16:53:00.000+08:00

Well.
Huimin finally turns 19.
D:
Sucks.
Well.
A shout-out to those who wished me happy birthday...
Thanks for remembering.
(:

Qiuzhen
Jing Hao
Daniel (:
Weilong
Vincent
Boon Chee
Layhoon
Choon Gim
Weiling
Mei Xuan
Beeying
Boon Long
Shiyun
Jie
Eric
Casper
Wan Xuan
Jialiang
Teehao
Kwee How
Jiale
Fang Zhou

Thank you.
You guys rock my world.
=]

[135]

2008-01-02T18:27:00.000+08:00

I miss you...
I miss you so far..
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard...
Well.
I'm addicted to Cemetery Drive... yet again.
Now putting it on repeat on my player.
Used to be I Don't Love You...
Till my dad can whistle along le to IDLY.
Wonder how long he take to whistle along to Cemetery Drive.
^___^

13 Dec 2007...
Our second year anniversary.
(:
So we went to Tiong Bahru to eat at Sakae Sushi.
Hoo boy.
Did we eat alot.
Lemme try to recall what we ate.
7 plates of salmon sushi?
I am a salmon lover.
Muahaaaa.
1 chawanmushi. (ME!)
1 mango salmon roll. (DAN!)
1 salmon skin roll. (ME!)
2 soft shelled crab roll.
2 plates of tofu.
2 plates of potato croquette thingy.
...
And not forgetting the endless other plates that we took off from the sushi train.
Wheee.
We are pigs.
(:
Then we went to watch Alvin and The Chipmunks.
Damn adorable.
Interesting that Jesse McCartney voiced Theodore.
I'll always love you dear.
No matter how little time we'll have together when you go to NS.
I'll be waiting.
(:

Well so it's the new year already.
Just recently realised that some people can be so... mean.
Now i can't decide whether front stabbing hurts more than backstabbing.
Seriously.
One minute you can be laughing and chatting happily with this person and the next... like WTH?
Have to experience it yourself to feel the hurt.
The power of words.
Sighs.
I seriously don't understand.
Used to think that talking bad behind someone's back is bad enough.
If you don't like the person, keep it to yourself...
Why spread the hate?
Childish antics.
I'm sick of what's hidden behind the facade.
LIES LIES LIES.

These are my new year resolutions!
1. Love my family.. Cause they love me, and their love for me knows no boundaries.
2. Be a good girlfriend to Daniel. (:
3. Hang out more often with my good friends.
4. Take good care of Rocky. My lovely chihuahua.
5. Spread love not hate. I shall not gossip like a bitch.
6. Write more. (:

Well.
Recently I started writing stories online.
Received positive feedback from a few people, so i'm quite contented.
Used to dream of being a writer.
I'm amazed that there are people who actually LIKE my stuff and ideas.
It makes me feel...
Powerful.
Good.
(:

[134]

2007-12-12T10:52:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was wonderful!
Allow me to have a fan girl moment.
OMG!!
MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE WAS THE BEST YESTERDAY!! (:
Ok.
Let me start from the beginning.
So Daniel and I went out yesterday.
And i forgot my camera so i doubled back while Daniel waited for me at JEC.
Then we went to Bugis to walk around, find non-camera phones.
What the hell.
Why all the phones now all got camera.
-.-
Poor ns-men.
Then all the non-camera phones are in fact more expensive than the camera-phones!
What rubbish.
Then we went to have dinner.
Lol.
Daniel and I are really meant to be.
(:
Cause.
We both eat like pigs.
Haha.
Ok.
So i ate chicken rice at Food Junction, den complained i was still hungry.
Daniel ate his Pepper Lunch Express.
Then we shared two pratas, one egg, one plain.
Then we ate dessert!
Like pigs not?
Hahaa.
I love my piggy boyfriend.
(:
Then we went to Max Pavilion and started to queue up.
Then in the end we queue so long ended up queue wrong place.
-.o
They gave us this green wristband to put on our wrists...
Pretty cool.
The idea of TBP was the patient so i guess the green wristband idea serves to strengthen that concept.
So MCR played TBP songs plus songs from their previous album TCFSR.
TBP, Cancer, Famous Last Words, I Don't Love You, I'm Not Okay (I Promise), Helena, Cemetery Drive...
I so love them for playing Cemetery Drive.
(:
Only the Spore Expo Max Pavilion sound system sucks...so the rock parts not that nice.
Sang my heart out along with them.
Abit bad cause Dan wasn't feeling well...
So he was sitting on the floor suffering while i was standing up screaming.
Ah well.
I feel lousy though.
Enjoying myself while he's in such a terrible shape.
I'm glad he's ok now. (:
Sorry dear.
And Gerard Way (lead singer) was so cute.
According to Daniel someone fainted and had to be carried out.
And i think Gerard was like saying if someone faints pick that person up or something like that.
And some people were laughing.
And he was like..."I'm being fucking serious."
There were alot of kids (rather surprisingly actually) and their parents were around.
And he was like using the F-word like no one's business.
At least like 20 over times.
"Lemme see your motherfucking faces! You're all so beautiful."
Heh, not that i mind the word.
But i guess he forgot that we're an Asian society though.
Less open-minded.
I could see the faces of some parents in the crowd.
If looks could kill.
Super funny.
Wonderful night.
(:
I love MCR.

Well so i'm working now.
Night shift.
4-1030.
At Trade Hub.
The pay's quite good.
6.50 an hour, then +3 dollars if you reach a certain amount.
(:
Like the job.
Guess cause most of my friends are there.

[133]

2007-12-03T20:35:00.000+08:00

Hey all.

FEMALE TUITION TEACHERS REQUIRED AT XUEHAI TUITION CENTRE

Girls only

A level graduates

$10 an hour; Raise in AUGUST

Contract till OCTOBER 2007

Preferably live in WEST

TUITION CENTRES LOCATED AT:

Jurong East

Clementi

Choa Chu Kang

Training provided; Teaching materials provided

Choice of subject to teach

Once a week; 1 hr 45 min per session;

Choice of day to teach

Small class size

INTERESTED:

Email enquiry@xuehai.com.sg with

Contact

School

Results

Sujects keen to teach

Address etc

SEE www.xuehai.com.sg for more details.

And that's a shout-out for those who want a job.
(:

Went to watch ENCHANTED with Daniel today.
Lol.
That show is hilarious and lame.
But quite sweet.
Just that the idea of happy-ever-after is so seriously cliche and warped.
And then Daniel went to get his prom stuff.
Best la he.
Today prom, today then buy.
-.-
He bought a white jacket then complain heart pain cause the jacket's like 99 dollars.
Go figure.
But i think he seriously looks good when he actually dresses up.
(:
Well, today's the last day we can spend together before he flies off tomorrow to HK.
I'll only see him on the 8th.
:(
I can't wait for him to come back already, even before he leaves.
Lonely week ahead.

Oh and i got a job!
Lol.
Clearing dog poo and feeding the dog.
My sis's dog, Rio.
She's flying off to HK on the 21st.
Lol.
5 days.
100 bucks.
Not bad eh.
Haha...
I hope Rio doesn't give me too much trouble.
Lol.

CO practice is on Wed.
Well so i guess i'm more or less in CO alumni already.
Abit strange.
Cause i think i'm the only one.
-.-
Ah well never mind.
Just for one year i guess.

[132]

2007-12-02T18:22:00.000+08:00

Yes.
I'm officially baccckkkk.
x)
*beams*

It feels good not to wake up in the middle of the night... or rather, in the wee hours of the morning, heart beating so fast you feel as though you're a ticking time bomb.
It feels good not to feel stressed.
It feels good not to stay up late because you have to, but because you want to.
It feels good being able to do rubbishy stuff without feeling guilty.
Like watching tv till 3, 4 a.m.
Or using the computer till your back aches like hell.
Hahaa.
Yea man.
A's are over.
I know.
It's abit weird to blog about it now after it's been over for like...
10 days?
But i've only felt that sense of freedom only recently.
^__^

Gosh i'm damn excited.
11 Dec 2007!
I cannot believe that MCR is really coming to Singapore.
And guess who's going?
*beams*
And guess who's going with me?
*bigger grin*
Haha.
I can't wait.
^___^
And i can't wait for our anniversary too.
2 years!!
(:

Ah well.
I've been catching up on my reading recently.
Haven't read for ages.
I finally managed to borrow James Patterson's When The Wind Blows.
I love this sentence about death from the book.
"When one sleeps, the other weeps"
Really sad phrase.
My grandmother passed away a few weeks before the A's begun.
Heart failure.
I've already experienced 2 deaths this year.
Death of loved ones.
I can still remember what happened at Mandai.
And the grief that was so thick and evident in the air when she was cremated.
And the tears that came so naturally.
"When one sleeps, the other weeps"
How true...

[131]

2007-07-15T18:13:00.000+08:00

Interesting how a week can make you grow up.
I was pickpocketed on Tueday this week on the MRT train at City Hall MRT Station.
The culprits were caught yes..
A plainsclothes policeman caught two of them.. one who kept a lookout and the other who took my handphone..
Thank goodness for him otherwise i would have lost my phone for good..
Went to the police station at Tanglin and had my statement taken now..
All in all..
It was a pretty horrible experience.
I guess you could say that i grew up.
Learnt more.
This experience has snapped me away from my self-delusion that Singapore is very safe.
And the ugly nature of Singaporeans.
I still remember the split second that i lost my handphone and was panicking when i noticed the look on some people's faces.
They knew.
FUCK.
And they never stepped up to help.
I seem to have bad experiences all the time on MRT stations.

Wednesday 11 July 2007.
We received news that Mr Yeo had passed away.

13 July 2007.
SACO - ex members and current members - gathered at Lakeside MRT station to attend Mr Yeo's wake.

When we arrived at the place where they held the wake, it was a sombre moment as we went in groups to pay our respects to him.
They had placed the huge card we had made for him.. the one we had all wrote notes written on heart-shaped paper and pasted on the board- right next to him.

I admit, there was a small part of me which believed that this was all but just a dream, a joke, and i would wake up the very nxt second laughing at myself for such a silly dream.
The tears came as i neared the coffin and saw Mr Yeo for the last time.
Under the facade of makeup, he seemed fake, plastic..
But I knew it was Mr Yeo.
Mr Yeo who had fought against the cancer so hard for the people who loved him..
Memories flooded into my mind.. of him conducting, of him smiling, of him bringing snacks n sweets for us to reward us for our efforts, of him teaching me how to hold e xiao ba and teaching me my part for the xylophone for FNJ..
He had the most peaceful expression on his face and a slight smile which i knew we would soon never see again.
It took all of my will and strength to tear my eyes away from him..
Undescribable grief and pain...

Listening to weiling making her speech, i knew that all of us were very much affected by the memories that were invoked as she read through all the memories we had of him.
Without Mr yeo, perhaps i wouldn't have begun to love co so much..
Though the time spent with him was short, it was a period that has impacted me deeply..
Mr yeo has given without asking for anything in return.
He has contributed to the success of the orchestra in many ways..
He has patiently taught us.
I only remember he got angry once..
Once..
And that was because we all knew that he was under alot of stress from the school.
His smile..
Always patient.
Always kind.
Always there..

Perhaps i have taken Mr yeo for granted.
I never used to feel close to him, and never bothered to try to.
Perhaps foolishly i have thought that he would always be there for us, with that patient and ci xiang smile that takes all anxiety away..
Perhaps I did not treasure him..
I'm sorry Mr Yeo.
Really sorry.
Rest in peace..

Mr Yeo has taught me all the greatest gift that no one else can ever given - to cherish everything around you.
Everyone, everyfriend, every thing, is there, or happens for a reason.
No matter how minor or how major a role that he or she plays in your life, no matter whether you dislike or you like him/her.
Everyone is there for a reason, to teach you certain principles in life, to help you, to make you mature.. everything happens for a reason.
Cherish all around you, cherish everything that happens..
No matter bad or good, before it's too late for regrets..

Mr Yeo has left us..
Forever and ever.
But the spirit that he has left behind shall never die..

in loving memory of mr yeo puay hian.

[130]

2007-06-05T11:48:00.000+08:00

4 June 2007.
The official retirement day of the J2 batch of 2007.
Zu Shen Si Yun 2007.

Our poster..

Shenghui, Me, Caiying and Alfred

The rose among the black thorns (:

Pioneer batch of percussionists of 2006

My little surprise.. (:

Me and dear. Roses from him. Love you. (:

*bish*

Miss Wong is so preeetty :D

Percussion and Mr Low (:

Mr Low Vince and Me (:

And i FINALLY got to take an individual shot with MR LOW :D

Saints Orchestra. One family unbroken.

And with that.
That spells the end of all the performances i'll ever have in my life.
It lasted only a heartbeat..
The thrill..
The excitment before the performance..
The utter silence and the wild beating of your heart right before you begin..
And the great sense of accomplishment after it has finished..
Incomparable.
I call it a performer's soul.
The thrill..
Once a performer always a performer.
Though i cannot say it was the best performance i gave,
i can say that i did try my best..
And i'm proud of all my fellow members.
Saints Orchestra has become a part of me..
a part of my life..
So much so that i don't call it a CCA anymore..
But my family.
When i leave..
No more Tay and Yuen.
They never fail to crack me up whenever i'm unhappy.
No more San ge fu lu shou le.
No more xylophone.
No more glock.
No more long teng.
No more practices..
No more common goal..
No more...

And also with that, Mr Low will leave SACO.
It was pure mayhem after the concert when everyone fought to take photos with him.
Angela was the funniest.
She pushed everyone away.
"OY SIAM YOU GO AWAY.."
Lol.
And she got to take her individual shot with him.
It's sad to see him leave.
SACO will never be same without him again.
I think he's the best conductor anyone could have.
And I don't think i have ever respected anyone else as much as i respect him.
After all, he's also part of the Saints Orchestra family..
And i probably won't get to see him often anymore.
:(

Well.
No regrets.
I joined SACO rather unwillingly.
But now..
I love it with all my heart and soul.
And i know..
I'll always be a part of it.

[129]

2007-05-12T10:19:00.000+08:00

SYF.
10 May 2007.
Our hearts beating as one.
The announcer of the results..
Her voice still rings in my head.
"Bian Hao 13: Shen An De Lie Chu Ji Xue Yuan.
St Andrew's Junior College..
Silver."

Joy.
Pride.
And disappointment.

We've come so far as an orchestra.
What with Mr Yeo having cancer and being unable to be our conductor..
Searching for a new conductor..
Finding Mr Low..
Having to adapt to a new conductor with a very different style..
Sophie falling sick..
Yijia having an injury even before SYF..
And we made it..
As a family.
Whoever wrote those words on the feedback board..
"Please disband CO.."
This is our reply to you...
"We have proved you wrong.. We are as good as anyone else..We will never fall."

We have broken the record..
SACO has gotten bronze for 15 years..
And we have broken it.
We have re-written history together with Mr Low..
With Mr Low, we dreamt..
We reached our goal..
And because of him..
We dreamt of higher ground..
Of course we were disappointed.
Right now..
Is he disappointed with us?
Somehow, i realise that we have let him down..
From a Au conductor..
He has became a Ag/Au conductor..
Liting said he was sad when the results were announced..
But i do want him to be proud of us..
Is he..?
He really was the spirit and hope of the orchestra...

I was so proud on stage..
When David made the right hit..
I smiled..
I truly felt proud of percussion.
And of the orchestra.
So proud.
And i know..
We have all tried our best.
As an orchestra.
As a family.
Unbroken.
United.
Forever.
(:

SACO - The Girls

Men In Black.. (:

Me and Shawn. SHAWN FOR LOY FATT! (:

Me and Ye Han. Sadly. My only percussion junior. =(

Security Post. Lol. David ah. Ruin our act dao photo.

Me and Yong Hui. Er Zi. Haha.

We love being emo. Lol.

We love being super emo.

Being even more emo. Sengyong's pretty scary. Haha.

Me Vince and Mdm Hue! (:

SACO. One family unbroken.

Life goes on..
Soon.
J2s will step down.
No more CO.
Must cherish the times we have left..
One concert, one performance at Bukit Merah, and one CO Camp.
I'll miss everything about it...

Alrighty.
Street soccer competition was passed.
Lucky we made the quota on Friday.
So far we have around 15-16 teams.
I better start preparing FOOD.
Probably sell canned drinks and stuff like erm.. wedges? Sausages?
People please feedback to me what appeals to you.
Alright man.
Let's go food com.
(:

[128]

2007-05-05T09:52:00.000+08:00

I've had so much disappointment this week.
It's really going to kill me sooner or later.
Things have gotten so rocky between us.
When i walked away, i kept looking back at you.
You don't even want to look at me anymore.
You said it wasn't worth it to cry for you anymore.
But don't you know.
That these tears can't be held back anymore..
I really do love you..
But.
I don't know how long i can hold on anymore.

7 dreams.
It took only 1 decision to ruin 7 dreams.
We could have gone together, as a team, to represent Singapore in USA.
University of Michigan.
Wow.
Imagine.
It could have been our passport to medical faculty.
Of course the school's so poor that it can't even cough out a single cent.
Of course it's not the principal's fault.
It's our own bloody fault for being poor.

Studies.
I look at everything that i'm doing now and i know i'm heading for doom.
I don't even have the strength to lift myself out of this abyess anymore...

CO.
I don't even know what standard we are at now.
How good are we?
No matter how, we're going to be worse off than the previous CO.
They're much stronger in terms of manpower.
Even if we're really better in terms of musical interpretation.
We'll lose out.
Is no one feeling the pressure?
Reached home around 1145 yesterday.
Mum went on and on at me.
I want to go for practice today but i can't.

I feel...
Stressed.
Angry.
Heart-broken.
Calm.
Accepting.
...
How can anyone feel so much at the same time without bursting?

[127]

2007-04-30T20:03:00.000+08:00

Wow.
I never imagined it would be so tiring today.
Anyway woke up at 5 and reached school at 615.
Reached SCH at 8 something.
Which was like too early and we spent a long time waiting for the gate to open so we could use the lift to go into the stage area.
The first run sucked totally and i agree with what Vincent said after that.
"Die ah liddat sure bronze."
Ah well.
The second run was much better.
Oh and did i mention i love my xylophone.
Haha.
Liu Lao Shi's student said the xylophone was nice ^__^
Thanks to me and Mabel (:
Haha.
BHB.
Actually the xylophone is pretty good quality.
It was the only instrument in percussion that he did not criticise for sounding like a 10 dollars or 5 dollars instrument.
-.-
Oh and Mdm Hwee cooks killer cha ye dans.
Damn it was so good i ate three.
Haha.
Plus the egg i ate with noodles in the morning for breakfast i think i might just die of a cholesterol high tonight.
Don't be surprised if my picture appears in the orbitury tomorrow.
Lol.
Or i should say i am a greedy pig.
Even Daniel knows how much of an HUGE appetite i have for a girl.
Heh..
In fact Mdm Hwee's cooking is great.
She cooks tons of stuff for us during major events.
Like kong ba pau and dessert and stuff.
Yummy.
Craving for it right now.
X=
Haha.
Mdm Hwee rawks.
(:

Found two songs that i've been searching for for a very long time..
Kissed from a rose by Seal and Fixing a broken heart by Indecent Obsession.
I love oldies.

Today is a happy day.
So happy (:

[126]

2007-04-29T22:03:00.000+08:00

You don't care.
You don't care who i am.
Where i'm from.
What i did.
As long as i love you.

So you believe in those rumours.
So you believed.

And once again i feel shattered.

[125]

2007-04-29T16:59:00.000+08:00

I'm in a weird mood.
There.
I shall end here.

[124]

2007-04-28T11:26:00.000+08:00

This week's passed in the blink of an eye.
Unbearably long lessons aside.
Almost everyday's spent on CO.
I'm not complaining.
I know next time when i look back i've reminsce about the days when we worked so hard together as a CCA.
United in spirit and heart.
I really love them all.
Love my friends.
Love my section.
Yay.
Go perc.
Though we're always pinpointed as the source of all mistakes, we never gave up.
I'm so proud of David and Alvin.
And of course my sweetest Ye Han, Mabel and Vince..
So of course you could imagine my anger when someone wrote "Please disband CO (:" on the feedback board.
The smiley face.
Smirking.
It felt as though someone shoved something down my throat.
Being the sweetest ever, Ye Han messaged me and told me to ignore that creep.
And when Vince said,
"Do you know that person's wish would come true if we got a bronze for SYF?"
I couldn't help but choke a little.
We've worked so far.
Tried so hard.
Come so far.
I'm sure the orchestra would smack a silver medal right back at the person's face.
Now the thing is left in the hands of us percussionists..
Will we ultimately cause the downfall of CO?

Zoned out after practice yesterday.
Could feel my system shutting down..
Woke up with a major headache and slight flu in the morning.
Damn.
I can't afford to fall ill now.
Not at this critical period of time.
I must press on..

I realise i've been taking it out on myself this entire week.
Being angry at everything, and at myself.
Maybe i should go for anger management courses.

Yea.
Sorry Jing Hao.
About yesterday.
That aside.
I think you should have joined CO if you wanted a hectic CCA.
Haha.
But it's fulfilling really.
And good luck Mabel.

[123]

2007-04-23T19:39:00.000+08:00

JC 2 Block Test 1 Progress Report

Name: Yeo Huimin
Civics Group: 06s19

Chinese Language: A
Economics: C
General Paper: D
Biology: B
Chemistry: C
Mathematics: A

Ranking Points: 69/80
Conduct: Very Good

Remarks:
Huimin has done consistently well throughout the term, despite her heavy involvement in the Chinese Orchestra. The only danger is complacency.

O_O

ARRRRGGGHH

WTF??
*kicks chair*

So that's it then.
The amount of work i put in is worthless.
I tried.
...
That's so damn hurtful..
:(
Am i complacent?

[122]

2007-04-21T10:31:00.000+08:00

Avril Lavigne - When You're Gone
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
reminds me of you
And the clothes you left are lying on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

We were made for each other
I'm here forever I know we were
Oh oh oh oh oh
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me
Yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

Yea.
Out of all the songs in Avril's latest album i still like this one the best.
Quite touching..

Congrats to all the 06s19 runners for Group B 10x200m relay!!
Amanda, Tanya, Yihui, Cheryl, Mabel, Jeremy, Xuan Feng, Jing Hao, Gary and Vernon!
Champions!
So damn proud of you all.
You guys rock.
(:
Cheered my heart out for everyone during the heats and the finals.
Wow.
Never seen Richard so crazy before too.
Lol.
Hugged Amanda and Tanya after that.
Haha.
Their joy and enthusiasm was so infectious.
We were crazily jumping around squealing until we regained our composure.
^___^
I love crazy group hugs.
Lalala..

Yea.
So Mr Liu got percussion to practice.
Catered to us personally.
Yea.
Trashed out all the problems for the set piece.
But shit.
Dunno FNJ how.
I think he taught us until want to vomit blood.
Lol.
First me stone, then Vince, then Mabel, then David then Alvin. Then Ye Han.
Lol...
But Liu Lao Shi's very patient.
I hope we don't let him down..
Most importantly i hope we won't let ourselves down.

I miss GZ.
School's been so crazy recently.
I can't seem to find a time to go back.
Next week's their SYF.
I hope they do us proud.
Go guzheng! (:

Sigh.
I dunno how big the cracks are..
Hope they don't get bigger.
Jiayou Huimin.
Don't give up.

[121]

2007-04-19T20:38:00.000+08:00

Today..
Is the day of liberation.
The day i feel i have rights.
The first time i felt free...
'Cause..
No co today.
I know.
A few more weeks.
But it could mean a critical portion of my grades still..
Everyday go home so late, around 11 plus, straightaway fall asleep le.
I dunno how to go on like that.
I know i have struggle with my tiredness..but i simply don't have the strength to.
I hope we really do get a Silver.
From the standards now we're producing, i know it's probably a COP.
And it's all the fault of my section.
Yesterday i felt so angry with myself.
Haven't been serious in learning all the songs properly.
I know.
Stupid idiotic me.
Liu lao shi was picking on the whole percussion section.
Yea i know we suck.
I swear i will not cause CO to fucking lose points in SYF.

I trained till my hands started to cramp.
Lack of practice i guess.
Stop awhile then trained again.
I will get my drumming skills back up on track.
I swear.

Long teng hu yue sounded nice yesterday.
I hope we rock on concert day.
Percussion solo!
So fun (:
Tanya said she'll come support Mabel and me on the CO Concert.
Oh boy.
I hope the entire OM team turns up.
I'll love them all to bits.
It'll give me greater motivation to train harder.
But yea.
Not everyone likes CO Concerts.
Hope they come though..
*cross fingers*

Was going home together with Ye Han yesterday.
He said i look like a happy-go-lucky girl who's always laughing, joking, smiling..
Then I told him i wasn't.
And he smiled and said,
"I thought you would say so."
Then i started to think..
Am i a hypocrite?
I feel as though i'm struggling to keep a mask on everyday.
But sometimes.
The mask is unavoidable.
How can you expose your emotions entirely to others?
Look where it got me when i did..

Haha.
Went out with Tanya and Amanda to eat and buy stuff today.
Lol.
Went to Pizza Hut to eat.
Boy, i missed the Curry Zazzle baked rice.
Yummy.
^___^
Like the gossipers we are, we talked about everything under the sun.
From people to service to people to people.
I seriously think that the Pizza Hut service at Marina is super good can.
Wah, compare to Jurong and Clementi hoh..
Piangs.
Service at Clementi is the worst sia.
I mean so what if we're students..
We still DO deserve some respect..
The waiter actually brought warm water for us because the air-con was blowing directly at us and Tanya was complaining that she was feeling cold.
I guess i've not seen a such good service for a very long time.
Was so stunned just now when he brought us warm water.
The name of the champion waiter is SUFFY!
*applauds*

Going to school tomorrow to support the class for their relay race.
GO S19!! (:
Jiayou!
^___^

[120]

2007-04-16T22:19:00.000+08:00

Haven't written in a while.
Right now, i'm in a emo mood.
Things are strained between the both of us recently.
I just pray that.. Sigh.
Feeling weird and lost.
As though i've been thrown into some third dimension that my brain doesn't identify with.
Supposed to be studying Chemical Equilibria but somehow nothing seems to go in.
I hope the test isn't too hard.

Well.
These few weeks i've been busy with Odyssey of the Mind.
All my breaks have been dedicated to doing props and stuff.
All my late nights spent in school.
Till 10.
Till 12.
Though we lost, though we didn't win..
I still think it was worth it.
I got to know my 6 other classmates better.
Cheryl.
Wei Qi.
Darling Amanda.
Tanya.
Jinghao.
Mabel.
Yep.
Before the performance..
It was great.
We cheered as a team..
And at that point of time, it didn't matter whether we had many differences.
What mattered was that we were united in heart and spirit.
And we totally rocked the house down.
Our best ever.
Mr Fong rocks too.
He stayed with us till 12 plus the day before in school..
How many teachers are willing to do that much and go that far for their students..?
As far as i know, maybe can use fingers on both hands to count.
Or maybe toes.
Just wish he wouldn't blame himself too much.
Ah well.
I love all of them to bits.
Haha..

Today it was abit strange..
The first break.
Suddenly it felt as though something was missing.
I guess that sense of urgency has been replaced now.

PW.
Comments came back.
Daniel told me that they wrote faint markings on the comments list.
Squinted a little at the bottom and saw that I got 15/19 for my OP part.
I guess it was pretty ok.
The whole group got C though.
I think all of us didn't expect that.
Super disappointing.
Thinking back, i think we really did put in alot of effort.
The weekends and holidays when we spent long hours pouring over the report...
The long preparation for our presentation..
Sometimes you can't judge a report by how it's written.
Maybe they should mark it on the effort spent.
Ha.
When Singapore stops being so results-orientated and so QC-demanding.. the sky would fall.
Reality sucks doesn't it.

I really hate myself.
I really do.

[119]

2007-01-13T18:42:00.000+08:00

Decided to post some pictures on my blog.
Pictures of my childhood haha.
I had funky hair.
(:

Yea.
That's me and Beeying in K2.
LOL.
She was in modern dance,
I was in Chinese Dance.
Hated the bloody red costume and the yellow frilly hair thingy.
Haha.

Don't i look like a baby boy?

That's my sister and me.
I had the funkiest ever hairstyle back then.
Spiked somemore.
Lol.
Wasn't I CUTE back then?
Hahaa...

Oh and this is the pattaya rice that the auntie at the malay food stall of SA decorated with mayo for me.
Lol.

[118]

2007-01-11T23:13:00.000+08:00

First things first.
A BIGGG thankyou to ALL who have wished me a happy birthday.
(:
Lemme see.
Meilun, Bee Ying, Alvin, Eileen, Boon Chee, Boon Long...
Thanks guys.
I love you all.
^___^
And those who gave me pressies!
Shiyun, Qiu Jian and Mei Xuan.
Thanks SOOO much!
Rightttt.
I'm FRICKING EIGHTEEN ALREADY!!
I don't feel the difference though.
-.-
Except that i can officially go...
Clubbing? Buy alcohol??
-.-
I'm not that kind anyway.

It's been quite a hectic week already.
Dear's birthday was on the 9th..
His classmates gave him a SS Big Bird.
Lol.
I like the beak.
Very nice to pull.
x=

Anyway.
CO was fun yesterday..
Mdm Hue got some JC1s to come in and join us for practice to see whether they liked it anot.
The sound was stronger than usual.
FNJ sounded more impressive than before.
Though not perfect.
There's a RVCO dizi guy considering to join us!
CO got hope le!!
x=
Lol.
I really hope Hai Yuan joins us.
Dear says we saw him at the ice skating rink before..
Hehe.
I can go and BLACKMAIL him.
Lalala..
Was very tired when i reached home though.
Fell asleep immediately after i reached home.
Didn't even study much of OC.
So i can say bye bye to my OC test results today.
Ah well.
I did try my best..

Today was super tiring.
Had service librarian duty.
Scanned books to check the info and whatever nonsense.
Honestly i see no point in doing all of that.
Bleahh.
Had a terrible headache after that.
I observed something today.
Experimented.
If i stared at someone who walked past me when i'm behind the counter, he or she won't realise it.
Tried it on a couple of guys that walked past me.
Goes to show how people actually take things for granted.
"The people that are always there..."
The SERVICE LIBRARIANS AND THE LIBRARIANS.
YOU GUYS OUGHT TO BE GRATEFUL TO US.
WAHAHAHA!
Actually Ms Sim and Mdm Jek are nice people.
They may chatise and scold and chase but they really are doing their jobs.

Miss Lee made us play a game in groups.
My group voted for me as the most vain in the group, and the most easily excited.
Lol.
That's so true.
x=

I've actually been thinking about myself...
What i'm really like.
It's the first time i've actually asked myself whether i really know myself.
So i came up with 10 interesting stuff about myself!
Lol.It's called self entertainment... haha.

1.
I'm the kind who sorta freezes and feel very awkward and tend to get very nervous around strangers or people i don't know well both guys and girls alike.
So i tend to say weird things at the wrong time.
Or laugh at the wrong times.
Or speak very softly.
Or get very jittery.
..
You get the idea.

2.
I get "high" over the strangest things and smallest things possible.
I once laughed the whole day after a guy hit me in the face accidentally when he was swinging his arm and i walked innocently passed him.
x=
Yup.

3.
And once i start laughing, I seldom stop.

4.
And after my fits of "highness" i tend to grow really quiet.
Not because i'm tired.
It's because i've realized i've just thrown away my entire dignity as a girl and i try to regain back my composure.

5.
It never works.

6.
My closer guy friends don't treat me as a girl.
I guess i can look very demure and sweet looking (stop retching) sometimes but when i get excited i laugh and laugh my head off and i act entirely like a guy and i lose my entire image and then i...
Nvm.
No need for elaboration.

7.
I love music in all forms but i suck at it in all forms.
Not piano not guzheng.
No talent whatsoever.

Oh and i suck at sports too.
I can ride a bike easy, play badminton (still ok), rollerblade (very very beginner), but get me to run and i will die on the spot.
Doctor says i've weak lungs.
But can't find a reason for my nausea everytime i run.
*shrugs*
Maybe i'm pregnant!
No i'm really only just kidding.

I've a diploma in the art of suaning.
Graduated from the most pretigious school of NHHS.
First class honours.
Lol.

8.
I'm FRAGILE and EASILY BROKEN.
I'm super hyper sensitive to what others think about me especially those who i care about.
At a touch or a hurtful word i shatter easily. And I do tend to think too much.

9.
I get sentimental very easily.
Pictures can make me tear as i remember good old days.

10.
I guess i'm the kind of girl who's nerdy yet not entirely nerdy...
I do sleep during lectures, skip lessons etc..
But i do study.
Yea.
But i'm not that kind of girl who's English-speaking, mandarin sucks like shit kind, goes for facials, clubbing that kind..
I guess i'm a very Chinesey girl lol.
Must be my NH background.
I only care about my hair..
Lol.
I'm balding... ):

Yep.
I guess that's it.
Lol.
I'm tired.
Gonna get a goood rest.
Take care all.

[117]

2007-01-04T19:51:00.000+08:00

Start of term!

Feels so strange to be back in SAJC.
The first day stepped back into school feel so old.
All the juniors.
Somehow the guys are all... quite... SHORT.
All same height as the girls de.
Lol.
Got one girl very tall though.
The guys in my class were so amazed that she was taller than the vending machine in the cafe.
Honestly.
That's frigging tall.
-.-

It feels good to be back though!
Was so high on the first day.
Talked alot of rubbish.
Laughed the whole day.
Richard made me laugh until i cried.
Lol.
Like on drugs liddat.
He was nice too!
Didn't expect him to get me a gift from his trip to Malaysia lol.
Thanks.. oh good friend!
Lol.
So estatic the whole day.
I sometimes think i talk too much.
Very rubbish-y.
Must learn to be more glam like Weili.
HAHA.

In the DP for GP.
Honestly i think i so tyco la!
Only me and Amanda..
Two of us xiang yi wei ming..
*sobs*
I see all the pro people in my class so stressed sia..
So embarrassing if i don't do well..
I think my class is quite fun though..
Comprise mostly of S22 people...
Abbas, Linus, Joshua, Lynette, Si Min etc..
Should be quite fun.
Hope we get along well
(:

Co was depressing though.
With Mr Yeo sick and everything..
Now we don't even have a conductor for SYF.
And Mrs Lim already said this year's our last chance.
Sigh.
Worried...
For Mr Yeo and Co.
Though i'm not a Christian...
I would pray for him.
Praying does bring me some comfort and strength..

Dear Heavenly Father,

Please grant lao shi the strength to battle with his illness and recover from it.

Please grant him the courage and hope and love for him to fight on.

Though we may not have treasured him in the past, we do love him and wish for his good health.

Please bless us with the courage and strength to overcome all obstacles in our aim for a Silver in this year's SYF.

Even if we do not manage to do so, we would have done our best already.

I pray all this in your son's most precious name.

Amen.

Must trust in ourselves too!
We're improving!
SACO ROCKS (:
Jiayou people!

Assembly.
Mr Leong was damn funny.
The being cocky thing made me laugh my head off.
Lol.
Singing the school hymn made me fall in love with it all over again.
Makes me appreciate what being a Saint if all about..

OH YAY I'M TURNING EIGHTEEN!!
Lol.
Old le old le.
x=
Ah weeell.

[116]

2006-10-25T18:21:00.000+08:00

Destiny

What if i never knew
What if i never found you
I'd never have this feeling in my heart
How did this come to be
I don't know how you found me

But from the moment i saw you
Deep inside my heart i knew

Baby you're my destiny
You and i were meant to be
With all my heart and soul
I give my love to have and hold
And as far as i can see
You were always meant to be
My destiny

I wanted someone like you
Someone that i could hold on to
And give my love until the end of time
But forever was just a word
Something i'd only heard about

But now you're always there for me
When you say forever i believe

Baby you're my destiny
You and i were meant to be
With all my heart and soul
I give my love to have and hold
And as far as i can see
You were always meant to be
My destiny

Maybe all we need is just a little faith
'cause baby i believe
That love will find the way

Baby you're my destiny
You and i were meant to be
With all my heart and soul
I give my love to have and hold
And as i far as i can see
From now until eternity
You were always meant to be
My destiny

Haha.
So seriously in love with this song.
It's madness.
((:

Because of Yonghui i have decided to write this entry.
AH HUI AH.
Are you honoured??
((:
At first i thought u call me a-bu u know.
When i read ur tag.
Haha.
Er-zi...
:P

I seriously need to change my blog background.
Zzz.
Sick of it already.
Just too lazy to create another one myself.

I need to scream.
AAAAAAHH.
WHY HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO THIS MESS.
WHY DO I HAVE TO HAVE A THEORY EXAM THEN ORAL PRESENTATION!!
WHY CAN'T I HAVE A PROPER BREAK AFTER THE FRIGGING PROMOS!???
Zzz.
AND WHY DO I HAVE TO GET SICK AT THIS KIND OF PERIOD??
Have to miss dinner with Weiyang.
)):
Sorry Weiyang.
Come back from Taiwan we have another outing k?
Seriously.
Life sucks.

Sometimes, people don't always turn out the way you think they are.
They surprise you with the strangest things.
Some people can look ultra bitchy.
But they're the sweetest things at heart.
Some can look super quiet and sweet.
But boy.
They do things which make u wanna throttle them.
Dig out their guts.
I wonder which one i am.
...
Must be the latter.
Minus the sweet looking part, that is.
_-_

[115]

2006-10-22T16:21:00.000+08:00

Destiny...
Love this song.
Strange how destiny can bring people together.
Like me and Daniel.
Who could have thought we would end up together 5 years after we left Pandan..
I think if someone had told me back then, i would have laughed in his face.

I did ok for promos.
Bio - B
Chem - B
Maths - D (hee)
Econs - B
Seriously i'm so damn lucky.

Feeling very confused all of a sudden.
Seems like all the "role model" couples i know have been breaking up.
A bit disheartening really.
And i know a bloody bastard who's decided to ditch his wife.
Why am i even related to him in the first place?
I have no idea.
Feeling so angry.

Damn.
I need to study for my theory exam...
I can't get distracted right now.
Sigh.

[114]

2006-10-03T17:49:00.000+08:00

I think i might just die before the promos are over.
Lucky i have Daniel.
(:
Mrs Ang has been asking me "Are You OK??" everyday recently.
Ya.
Apart from feeling nauseous all day long.
I'm ok.
Seriously.
What else can kill me?

Had BIOLOGY and CHEMISTRY so far.
Wah sian.
Biology Department teachers are abit nutto up there.
-.-
It left some of us looking stunned and laughing stupidly at ourselves.
Like lunatics.
Ask Ronald.
Haha.
He was laughing insanely after that.
And he kept telling me how he'll be going through orientation again.
Zzz.

And chem.
Oh boy oh boy.
I didn't study hydroxy compounds at all.
*grins*
Smart choice.
Hee.
Hahaa..
But the paper was hard.
Ronald told me the RJC promo paper was much easier.
How true is that i dunno.
All i know is i can kiss my results goodbye.
And before that maybe give it a few hugs.
And after that a good kick in the butt or two.
Damn.
I'm going crazy.
Two more papers to go...

Good luck to everyone else still having their promos.
And shit u to those who've finished and are celebrating already.
We're still suffering...
:(

[113]

2006-09-27T13:22:00.000+08:00

Haven't updated in a while.
Bored studying bio so i came to blog instead.
Well...
Crystal growing didn't work out for me i guess.
I did my best... but my crystal dissolved in solution.
Guess that's just too bad.
I wonder whether it's all been in vain.
But come to think of it, it was fun.
And sometimes, it's really great to see the crystal growing well.
So well.
No regrets!
I heard SA had a few awards.

Seeing Hash's blog always make me laugh.
Haha.
Thanks Hash.
For being so highly entertaining.
:P

Exasperated.
My mum was screeching about me "lazing until 10 plus then wake up", "never study", yada-yada.
I was lazing till 10 plus because i studied till 2 plus the day before.
Not in the afternoon, mind you.
Till 2 am in the morning.
That aside.
Never study??
How am i supposed to study when every minutes, u'll go...
"Ah gurl ah.. help me carry Kenneth a while."
"Ah gurl ah, look after Kenneth awhile."
"Ah gurl ah, help me take the milk bottle for Kenneth."
OK lar.
I don't mind doing all this for my beloved nephew.
BUT.
My fault meh?
Haix.

Dan told me his friends say I look like secondary school girl.
Then was thinking about one time in Sec 4, when me, Eileen and SY were at Clementi.
Buying magazines.
Then the newspaper auntie guessed our age.
Eileen she guessed Sec 4.
She guessed that i was Sec 2.
-.-
Never mind.
I look young and i am PRETTY.
(:
Hahahaaa.
That's so frigging zi-lianish.

I'm going crazy.
Back to Eukaryotic Genome...
=(

[112]

2006-06-15T19:38:00.000+08:00

How can you stand within a large group of friends, and still feel that your heart's frozen?
Amidst all the laughter and the jokes...
You don't feel any warmth...
You don't belong.
Even the friends whom u thought knew you the best...
Their laughter seems so far away..
You only feel pain...
Then after that.
Numbness.

Things will change somehow...
I know they will.

I will change it.

I can.
I must.
I will.
I shall.

[111]

2006-06-14T22:20:00.000+08:00

Lol...
Been such a long time since i last updated.
Many things have happened...

Oh.
Daniel and me...
6 mths le!
^____^
Love you dear.
Heh.

Today...
Went to NUS.
Had the Science Focus lab sessions today.
Plant Histology and Polymerase Chain Reaction.
Omg la.
I shall not overestimate myself again.
Me and Mei Xuan were lost.
-.-
The labs were located at some ulu corner.
Walk until i wanna vomit.
Lucky got nice people help.
^__^
We were about 15 minutes late though.
Lol.

The lab sessions were fun.
Lol.
Me, WL and Gina were laughing quite abit over the two "MAN" men.
Lol.
I was saying that hen "MAN" de nan ren are useless.
WL turn to Richard and starting proclaiming how "MAN" Richard was.
And his partner too.
Lol.
So it was something like the two "MAN" men broke the agar jelly..
We were doing PCR then.
Lol.
Ultra funny.

Haha.
I realised that photos affect me alot...
I went to Peiqi's blog and started to tear...
Really brings back the memories...
Even though NHGZ brought me much pain...
It gave me happiness... and gave me a sense of belonging...
I miss Fel... Jen... Jac... Pei Qi... Wan Xuan.. Shih Han...
=(

[110]

2006-03-31T23:18:00.000+08:00

Haven't updated in a while.
06S19 is quite a fun-loving class.
Had PE today...
It was fun...
Haven't done stretching and other stuff for quite some time le...
It felt great to be finally doing it again...
Bought sweets for the class and filled up a box with them.
Passed the box around...
At the end of the day...
The box was empty.
-.-
I spotted Alvin taking alot of sweets from the box.
Lol.

Chem tutorial...
Miss Ng's our teacher.
Frankly speaking, I think she's gonna get bullied by all her classes...
She's so soft spoken and all.
I wonder how we're gonna have lessons at this rate...
Ah well.

I'm the only HCL pupil dropping chinese in the class...
That means i'm alone when there are chinese lessons...
I went to the library today while the rest had chinese..
I was staring at this picture in the National Geographic of this gorgeous osprey carrying a fish in its claws in mid-flight...
Wondering what it felt like to be in mid-air...
Then i realised that i was actually picturing myself walking straight off a building...

Kinda stressed out recently by what i have to do...
Can't catch up with schoolwork...
And with the upcoming CO concert..
GZ... Percussion...
And my other commitments...
Having to help Alfred with his schoolwork...
And having to look after my nephew...
It's just wearing me out.
Draining me of all my energy and strength..
I seriously need a break from everything...
Everyone.
Perhaps it's just a matter of whether my break is permanent... or not.

[109]

2006-03-14T10:13:00.000+08:00

13 March 2005...
3 months of memories...
Love you dear.
(:

Had OG bbq yesterday evening...
Kinda fun.
Haha.
The guys were doing all the bbq-ing while the girls were eating.
Lol.
And Shiyi ah.
Thanks yea.
Last time the OG chalet you also did most of the BBQ-ing.
Sweat until like dunno wad liddat.
Hahaa.
;)
Guys should serve the girls!!
Hahaa...

Me and Dan sit by the poolside.
Bek Wuay and Joy they all splash water on each other.
Then Bek splashed water on me and Dan also.
-.-
So i splashed back.
And got wetter.
^^"
Then Gayne came and they sat around the pool, swopping ghost stories.
Haha.

Then we went up to Yisheng's place.
Very nice.
Hahaa...
He had a jack russell *shit..forget her name*...
That was so utterly cute.
She seemed to like me lei.
Hahaa.
Then Dan play guitar.
*grins*
Thanks dear.
(:
I shall not ramble on and on about it.
Heee.

[108]

2006-03-11T19:25:00.000+08:00

I just had my theory exam yesterday.
...
Goner.
Ah well.
Next time.

Orientation 2 is over...
Went for the finale...
Skipped induction and wet games day.
Honestly, i wasn't expecting much from my OG for the last day.
Didn't think that i would bond with them in a span of a few hours.
Boy... was i ever wrong.
OG 13 rawks!
=)
Even though i spent only but a few mere hours with them...
I think they're all wonderful people.
Our OGL, Jean too.
Utterly friendly.
Funny.
And nice.
=D
And there were two "Huimins" in my Og.
Hwee Min and Huimin.
Shima had fun teasing us.
-.-

Station games were kinda boring.
But cheers were kinda fun.
Lol.
Li Jian led us in a malay cheer that i didn't know how to do...
Neither that I understand..
Lol...
But the looks on their faces were funny.
Hahaa.
Shima and I are good dance partners.
*smirks*
Amar got us some guy partners when he saw us dancing together.
But we swopped anyway when he walked away.
Hehe.
I can still picture that exasperated look on his face when both Shima and I were doing the lindy hop and he saw us together again...
Haha.
I LOVE YOU SHIMA~!!
:D

I can't believe Aruba was second runner up for Best Tribe.
(:
Was stunned for a moment when they announced.
Disco night was kinda lame.
Disco when it's so bright out?
Lol.
I'll never forget this scene.
OG 13 gathered in a circle...
Arms around each other...
Staring at each other awkwardly...
Haha..
Then i started to jump around...
Then the fun started.
Haha.
Everyone jump with me.
LOL.
Which was kinda dumb.
But definitely memorable.
Haha...

But i still miss OG 8 though.
13 13 13.
:D
Can't wait for OG bbq tomorrow.
And our special day.
Heee.
(:

[107]

2006-03-06T22:08:00.000+08:00

OG 13...
Makes me miss OG 8 a lot.
x=
I miss Hash.
Liane.
Bek Wuay.
Joy.
Weiyang.
Shiyi...
And all the other members who left...
...
Sigh.

OG 13 got 9 girls.
-.-
That seems kinda pathetic.
Mdm Hue is our OG teacher.
And she made me translate for her what she said into English for the class.
Disgusting job.
Embarassed myself like hell.
I hope OG 13 bonds together...
Like how OG 8 did.

Sigh.
I wish i could somehow make everyone around me happy...
I know some people who have left SAJC.
And the thing is...
I know that they are happier...
Different surroundings.
Better facilities??
Nicer people??
Better lecturers.
Is SA that bad???
I feel happy for them.
But i feel sad too.
It's like their happiness doesn't come from you anymore.
No matter how big a part or how insignificant a part you play...
Their memory of you will slowly fade away..
And so would your memory of them.
Inevitable.
Unavoidable.
Am i selfish?
I feel like i'm trying to prevent the waves from washing the sand away...
Clutching at memories.

Stressed out.
Wish me luck for Sat's Theory Exam.
Sigh.

[106]

2006-02-25T17:19:00.000+08:00

Indecent Obsession...
Fixing a broken heart.
Love this song.
(:

I apologise to Yuan Ing and Shiyun for today...
Sorry.
Didn't mean to make Mdm Hwee harass u guys.
I promise i'll go for CO practice after my music exam's over.
:D
SY.
Sorry for pang-sehing you so many times.
Let's go out and walk walk during the hols k?
(:
Been very lonely recently.
And I realised that i've not gone out with my friends for a very long time...
No common topic.
Drifted apart from them le ba?
That's why I everytime sit quietly at one end...
Sorry guys.
I too zhong se qing you already.
I promise that Huimin will be back to kajiao you all.
(:

The video shown on Friday made me think a lot.
Was walking around the school on Friday.
I was contemplating the possibility of leaving SAJC.
Who knows.
I might not get in with my marks.
Then I wondered...
Would it hurt?
All I know was that leaving Nan Hua hurt a lot.
4o7.
Guzheng.

And now.
o6S14.
SACO.
oG8.

I walked about aimlessly...

The cafe...
A place where I spend most of the time.
Being the pig that I am.
:D
Cafe Toscana...
The fruit drinks stall..
Grew to love the oreo milkshake which the others think are disgusting...
Hahaa..
The noodles stall...
Eating the nonya laksa with Shirley every Thurs and Friday...
Lol...
The chicken rice stall..
The prata stall...
Selling ridiculously small sized pratas...
-.-
Then i remembered the times I spent laughing and chatting with my friends...
CO people...
Sophie, Xiu Qin...
OG mates...
CG mates...

Turned to the basketball court...
And i remembered the rough games the class played...
Abbas and Jingyu screaming at each other when they got the ball...
The guys passing the ball...
Kah Fai, Shaun, Kel, David... Abbas...
The girls screaming as Jingyu tried to squeeze her way to throw the ball into the goal...

Moved on to the gallery...
Remembered the mass games during Orientation.
Cheering for Amar...
"Amar Amar, he's the man!
If he can't do it, NO ONE CAN!"
Lol.

Walked to the library...
Shirnee and I mugging in the library...
My mugging = copying homework...
Lol...
Remembered the time in which Daniel came to the library with WS and Casper...
"Which one??"
"First table la."
Daniel no where put his face...
:P

Moved on to the CO room...
Passing the CC...
Lectures...
Laughing at the teachers who had weird accents.
Dozing off during lectures and waking up to find that the teacher has finished going through the set of notes.
Lessons...
Praying that Mr Ho won't call me to answer question...
And every time suay suay tio called...try to act innocent...
"Who? Me?"
*looks around, and points finger at self*
Hahaa..
Orientation finale performance...
Flashes of memories.

The class...
Geishas..
Lol...
GP lessons...
Sophie changing name to Marilyn Quek...
:D
Talking about homosexuality...
Ehehehehee.
(:
Cursing teachers behind their backs...

Dunno why I've been thinking so much recently.
Contemplation is really the greatest luxury that costs nothing.
What if i were to really leave this place?
It would really hurt a lot...
So many memories.
I can't bear to put them down and just walk away like that...
If i had to leave though...
I'll never forget.
SAJC.
One family unbroken.
Once a Saint, Always A Saint.

I love all of you guys.
You guys made a difference...
IF i really leave somehow.
I will miss all of you.
oG 8.
o6s14.
SACO.
You left footprints in my heart...
And the waves will never wash them away...
(:

...
...
And did i mention how much I love Daniel?
:D

[105]

2006-02-24T22:08:00.000+08:00

Wore the SA uniform today.
I'm so damn proud of the uniform.
The nicest uniform around.
:D
Somehow, I always feel a sense of belonging to the school whenever I wear the uniform.
The feeling's great yea?
Sin Yi chased me around CO room to take photo of me.
-.-
I didn't know she loved me THAT much.
:D
Sin Yi~~
I LOVE YOU TOO.
(:
Eheheheheh.

Had assembly today.
The AVA society put together a video of the Saint Aldeia Orientation.
It brought back a lot of memories...
Especially of OG8.
(:
I love everyone of OG8...
You guys made it great.
=)
Chori-chori MTV part...
That was damn funny.
I could see Hash, Weiyang, and Weihao dancing...
Lol...
Guys dancing??
No proper hand and leg coordination.
Equals.
WEIRD.
:P
Then me and Bek doing chicken dance as forfeit cause i didn't bother to squeeze with everyone else to put my butt on some green tape on the floor...
-.-
Our preparations for finale...
Aruba coke can mascot...
Using the red indian as our identity...
Red fork (aggression!) to replace feathers, and red cloth to represent headbands...
Filling up coke cans with beans to be used as shakers...
Cheering for Aruba... (huat ah!!)
Mass games...
Mass dance.. partners with Shirnee..
:)
Did the girl part while Shirnee did the guy part...
Eating tou hua at the shop after the Finale...
The OG singing birthday song for me at the shop...
(=
Doing CIP at Potong Pasir area with Weiyang and Shirnee...
Asked an auntie for newspapers through the window...
Then she never say anything...
Waited for a long time...
Weiyang said she call police le...
Then we really heard sirens...
Lol...
I still remember some of the guys commenting that they had a resident who came out half-naked from his bath to give them newspapers...
And got six pack somemore...
Hahaa...
And the girls kanna "chased" by "she-males"...
Lol.
I remember...
Weiyang calling himself a "good boy"...and sounding awfully much like Daniel..
Which was damn scary.
And so not true.
:P
OG outing...
Pizza at PS..
Gayne talking about some criminals stuffing knives up their asses to escape out of jail...
Then somehow...
Josh and Hash say until become feremented apple stuffed up the ass with the knife and coming out nicely sliced...
-.-
Mapling with Yisheng, Amos, Liane, JM, Christina...
OG Chalet...
Weiyang suaning me about being a guy...
Shouldn't have told him my guy friends don't treat me as girl...
Lol.
Me and Joy spreading cheese over the prawns for the BBQ... but ending up eating the cheese instead...
Maybe all of this may seem insignificant...and dumb...
But it really means a lot to me.
I love you all...
All the best to those who are leaving yar?
Hash... Arnu... Liane... and the others...
Once a Saint... Always a Saint.

Strength comes in numbers.
We'll always be together...
Our hearts united as one.
(:

Shi qing guo qu le...
Fang shou ba...

[104]

2006-02-23T15:45:00.000+08:00

Had co practice yesterday.
I'm so damn proud of SACO PERCUSSION can.
=)
Ok.
I know, Dan.
-.-
Maybe i'm not the one contributing to the zai-ness of the percussion section.
BUT.
BUT.
The guys so damn zai can.
Matsuri!
They shall rawk the house down with their solo~
=)

Ah.
And I embarassed myself with the glockenspiel and jiao luo.
Guan Huai Fang Shi.
Shit.
Mdm Hwee say i not shou.
OF COURSE I NOT FAMILIAR WITH THE SONG LA.
I'm not the one who's supposed to be playing the song during the concert can.
Grrr.

CO jiayou..
We can do it for April de concert.
=D
Who want to come SACO concert?
Tell me.
I'll txt ya a list of reasons why you should... erm... go.
Ya.
Heee.

Recently...
I've been feeling lonely...
I may have many friends...
But how many can I count on when i'm feeling down?
How many true friends do I have?
I'm always lonely...
Be it in the class..CO...
Forget it.
I should get used to it and stop wallowing in self-misery.
After all...
I've never fit in before.

[103]

2006-02-14T21:08:00.000+08:00

Weiyang left for Canberra today...
Went to airport to see him off.
Met Dan early in the morning...
Reached the airport around 7.45 liddat...
Called WY who refused to tell me where he was...
Passed the phone to Dan den WY straightaway tell him...
Wahlao...
Some kind of discrimination against me ah???
x=
Gayne, Amos, Yisheng, Chris, Shiyi, Bek Wuay, Joy and Lynette were there too...
Then we took pictures...
When WY left...
He smsed Dan...
Give him permission to bully me...
-.-
Then he smsed each of us...
Saying that he loved us for coming...
I very nearly cried i guess...
But i didn't...
It was kinda sad to see him leave...
Though I know he would come back...
But definitely as a different person.
Perhaps a change of character?
Accent?
Maybe even the way he looks...
Somehow.
Who knows?
He might get a blonde gf..
Rofl...

Thanks dear..
For spending the day with me.
Love ya a lot...
Everyday is Vday...
=)

Feeling depressed now...
Why?
I should be happy...
For all that I have...
I should feel blessed...
But i yearn for a different situation...
And instead...
I feel...
Useless.
Redundant.
Smirched...
~~I can't breathe...~~
I just wanna hide in one corner and cry...

[102]

2006-02-10T22:03:00.000+08:00

Yup.
Calmed down...
Feeling better.
Thought it through...
Since I practically screw up all my important exams and responsibilities...
I shall try harder next time.
I know I didn't work hard enough this time...
Distractions and all...
So i shall not commit the same mistake again for my A's.
(:
Simple, isn't it?
Yay.
I'm feeling happy again...
x)

And dear.
You deserve everything you got.
6 pointer!
Clever pig.
:P
Love ya loads.
(:

SAJC!!
Here I come!
WHEEE~~
(:

[101]

2006-02-10T19:55:00.000+08:00

Sighhh..
O's...
I'm among the top in my school...
Cause they go according to the no. of As you get...
But...
Wad's the frigging use of getting all distinctions la...
All A2s...
So near yet so far to A1...
Heart pain...
Really pain...
So wasted...
And my two A1s are Chinese and Higher Chinese...
I'm never ever gonna take chinese ever again...
FUCK CHINESE.
11 points.
11 frigging points...
Someone please find a building for me to jump off...

Sighh.
Karma retribution...
I laughed at him last year...
Now the exact situation happen to me...
Licking my wounds in one corner...
I feel like a complete loser.

Thanks to those who tried to comfort me...
Guan Qun, Shiyun, Weiling, Shih Han, Jia Le, Xue Yuan, Jialiang, Kwee How... and Daniel...

[100]

2006-02-09T21:10:00.000+08:00

Yep.
Finally reached the 100th entry.
Whee.
Lol.
Just some random thoughts of the day...

SACO

What i did in it:

1. Joined da ji... Percussion rocks! =) Yuan Ing, Shi Yan, Vincent, me and Shiyun!
2. Joined guzheng section of it...
3. Tease Sin Yi and Cheng Zhi... end up kanna scolded... but i still think they look like couple... hee...
4. Laugh at Jeremy and bully him.. haha! Vice-president lei...but so hao qi fu...
5. Got to know new friends like Sophie and Jia Pei..
6. Tease Sophie... =D

Sigh...
How to say...
I ain't very happy in it.
Da ji is fun..
But...
I don't like the way "she" do stuff...
Very irritating.
All my sense of belonging always dissipates whenever i have to talk to "her".
I love the seniors...
They make me feel so at home...
I know if i leave SACO...
I'll miss them a lot..

Sin Yi...
I love to bully her...
See her expression change...
I'm such a frigging sadist.
=D

Cheng Zhi...
Fun guy...
Can't believe he lost to Yang Lao Shi at carrom!
WAHAHAHAAAA...

Jeremy
"Blur" guy...
Nice to bully.
Haha.

Shi Yan...
OMG...
He really got old man's laughter...
-.-

Yuan Ing...
My shy shy section leader...
But he doesn't seem so shy to JC2s lei...
Hahaa...

Jia Pei...
YES!
Both of us de mission is to tease Shi Yun and suan her like siao.
Wakaakakaaaa.

Xiu Qin...
=D
Cool girl...
Love her laughter...
Drive me nuts.
Haha.

Sophie
Hahaa...
"Auntie, I don't want chilli!"
"He very fierce lei..."
Lol.
One simple sentence she can say until very funny.
She's Jeremy's successor lei...
WAHAHAAAA..

I'll miss them all...

But.
I don't wanna commit to guzheng.
I hate this kind of arrangement...
This kind of...
"Untidiness."
I miss NHGZ a lot now...
=(

CG14
Haha...
Must say that i dunno a lot of people...
Mainly cause i never turn up for almost every CG outing...
Hahaa...
But i got closer to Sophie, Shirley, Shirnee etc etc..
Shirnee...
My only trustworthy friend...
Hahaa...
Always pei me about..
Shirley.
Six pointer lei!!
Don't play play.
Hahaaa.
Smart girl...
Very pretty.
Kel...
Among all the guys...
Think i only talk to him the most...
Six pointer that doesn't act like one...
ROFL...
One of my pon-ing partners in crime.
Haha...
Yar...
That's about it...
The rest I not very close to them...
x=

OG08
I love them all...
Went for the chalet on Friday...
Absolutely rawked.
=D
Daniel came along too..
=]
I think Daniel and Weiyang really alike lar.
Haha.
The way they talk...
Tease me about same stuff also...
*shudders*
Very scary la.
Lol.
Two Daniels.
-.o
One is enough already...
=p
And Hashwin brought Stella along...
Liane brought JM...
Then got BBQ...
Then Weiyang kept calling me a guy...
=(
Fine fine...
Why all my guy friends don't treat me like girl...
*sobs*
Was damn fun though.
Think i'll cry when Weiyang leaves for Australia soon...
=(((

Randomness.
My heart's about to break apart...

i love you...always and forever.

[99]

2006-01-30T12:36:00.000+08:00

They always say...
"Zui du fu ren xin."
Yes...
Girls.
I'm a girl myself.
Yet i have to say so too..
Let's just say...
Something happens.
The girls always make themselves sound like victims.
Perhaps.
Most of the time, they are.
But sometimes... they aren't.
Malicious...
The power of words.
How much can they mean?
How much can they HURT?
It's the ugly part of human nature.
Anger... spite...
Revenge.
I feel sad for her...
Somehow...
She screwed up her own character so that she can spite someone.
Turn people against him.
Hurt him back.
Is it worth it at all?
I don't really think so.

I love you, dear.
No matter what happens.
I'll always be by your side...

[98]

2005-11-26T23:28:00.000+08:00

Sigh.
Reading my previous entry made me feel kinda sad.
I REALLY... cannot bear to leave Nan Hua.
Who would have thought that it would hurt so much now?
Last time used to hate NH like shit.
I admit it.
I was almost ready to drop everything and leave...
Just like that.
Especially during the last 2 years.
Everything was really going downhill for me.
Guzheng...
Friendships.
Relationships.
Utter...
Hell.
But i didn't.
Partially `cause I couldn't.
And I had to stick it out.
I know.
I sound so weak right?
I admit.
I am.
I would never have made it.
Without you guys...
=)

Shenghui - Meowmer / Xiao Bai Er Hao / Da Bian Xiong

First person I thought of.

What would I do without you.

Sighh.

YOU!!!

YES YOU.

Hahaa.

I think you'll never know how much of an impact you made on me, didi.

My emotional support.

Without you.

Dunno what I would be le.

Thank you...

For always being there.

For me.

Not matter what.

It's very comforting to know that there's someone like you to turn to...

And just complain.

Or cry.

Be it happy, sad stuff or stupid stuff...

You'll always listen patiently.

And you'll never laugh AT me for those stupid and very very weird dreams I always have.

...

Ugh.

You always laugh... with me.

Hahaa.

You're always giving me good advice...

Saying things that make me really think.

Sometimes...
Being the pessismist that i am.
I feel very down...

And lost.

Your words always bring comfort.

And i draw strength from them.

You're mature..

You think in depth.

Not like some guys.

Who use their butts to think instead.

Lol.

Well.

I don't either.

Think i mean.

I admire you.

For being able to look ahead.

Plan.

While here i am.

Like a headless cockroach.

No idea where to go.

Or what to do.

You're my role model you know.

Sometimes i wonder if you can sense that i'm in a bad mood.

Cause the next moment, you'll say something lame that will make me roll on the floor laughing.

Really must thank you..

For putting a smile on my face.

Remember that time we talked for a long time in the library?

Then your bro smsed you...

"FOOD... I NEED FOOD..."

Hahaa.

And you fell sick after eating that brownie?

*OBI!! WHO ASK YOU!!!*

*sticks out tongue*

Haha.

That was fun.

Ah.

Exams...

You always encouraged me after a bad paper...

Took turns to wake each other up during the wee hours with a phone call to study..

Hahaa.

Your motivation.

That was what kept me going.

Thank you.

And your honey + lemon on the day of oral.

Was so touched can.

*muacks*

Going to different schools le.

Don't you ever forget me wohs.

All the best.

Jie loves ya.

Always.

I would never be the person I am today without you...

Don't forget our neoprint date hor.

Pei Qi - Lao po / Penguin

Pei Qi.
You're always there for me, whenever i need you.
You know..
I wish I could say the same for myself.
Sometimes,
I wish that I could help you...
Ease your sorrows.
Your burdens.
Share your joy.
But I always don't seem to be there for you..
I'm not a great person to turn to,
Nor confide in.
I'm so sorry.
*hugs*
Lao gong loves you, Ah Lian and Ah Hui.
Thank you for being there...
When I had problems with HY and well..
You know.
I'll miss those times we went home together...
And we'll just sit at a corner of Clementi MRT station, as we missed 1 train after the other.
Talking and talking.
And those times we spent together in the GZ room...
Just laughing and laughing...
And having fun together.
Those Sentosa trips...
How we stuck it out together through SYF.
How we cried together for GZ.
How we bonded through GZ.
Most importantly,
I'll miss you.
You're sensitive, kind, fun-loving...
Always putting others before self.
Never selfish.
How I wish we could spend more time together.
But..
Well.
Time is cruel.
Isn't it?
Man...
We tend to regret.
After we start to lose things..
After we realise that time lost never returns.
Whatever happens girl.
You made an impact on me...
And i love you for that.
=]

Shiyun

My best pal.
=D
4 years le.
Thanks for always being there.
For me.
And for cheering me up whenever I'm down.
I'll always remember the fun times we had.
In 2o4.
4o7.
Our common hatred.
Teehee.
ASHES RULE
:D
And I wish ya all the best too.
:]
Hope we get into SAJC together lei!!
Then most of ASHES in SA liao.
Keke.
I'll always remember those hilarious times we spent taking neoprints.
Seems like everytime we go out,
Most of the times we spent taking neoprint.
-.-
Really comfortable being with you.
Always laughing...
Never feeling embarassed.
I'm always open in front of you.
Never holding stuff back...
Unless for a reason.
*mutters darkly*
We both know why.
Lol.
I'll always remember that time we bought rice and all the "liao" then we share with Qiu Jian.
So cute can.
^^
Think we the only siao cha bos doing that in school.
Hahaa.
And remind me never to buy clothes with ya again k.
-.o
SO TIAO CAN A NOT.
THE MOST TIAO PERSON EVER.
Hahaaa.
Then our book.
Writing about our problems in the book...
Shared one with Fera and Liying.
The other with Clare...
But where are they BTW?
Hahaaa.
And.
I love ya too.
:]

Weiling - Fellow ASH member

*MUACKS*
Thanks wohs.
Though we only grew closer this year.
Because of ASH.
:]
Love going out with you.
Loads of laughter.
Hahaaa.
Can laugh until my stomach ache.
Then you, me, Shiyun always share food whenever we go out.
Strange huhs.
We always order zhu za tang.
Shiyun kope zhu du.
You kope zhu gan.
Me kope everything else.
Wahlao.
I so pig can.
Hahaaa.
:]
Rubbish bin ma.
Keep going out with you all hor,
I'll grow fat.
Heees.
And thanks for helping me dye my hair.
Very nice wohs.
:D
*I can see your ego inflating already*
Hahaaa..
Jkjk.
Thanks for being such a good friend too.
:]
Remember...
Cheese!
No matter how thin you slice it...
It still has two sides.
:]
Hope we remain in same class in SA wohs.
:D

Claressa - Fellow ASH member

Claressa~~
I've got a dirty secret to admit.
I'm so in love with you~!!
Hahaaa.
Just kidding.
:]
For me,
I always feel like protecting you.
Haha.
I dunno lei.
You like my sister liddat ma.
:]
Thanks for being such a good friend too.
That note you gave me when I was down...
:D
I'll always remember the fun times we had together.

Huilan - Fellow ASH member

Hahaa.
Love your laughter.
Absolutely contagious.
:D
Hahaaa.
Let's go out more often k?
:]

Jiale Kor, Kwee How Mei

Jiale:
Kor ah.
=]
Without you.
No mei here.
Hahaaa.
So weird right?
Though i'm older.
=p
I HAVEN SEE DA SAO YET!!
I WAN SEE!!
*pouts*
Hahaa.
Thanks for being such a great kor.
And a great maple pal.
:]
Lemme leach somemore next time.
Hehehehe.
=]
Meimei say sorry to you for whatever she did last time.
*muacks*
Love ya too.
:]

KH Mei:
WAHAHAHAHAAA.
ADMIT IT HOR.
I KNOW WHO YOU LIKE.
Hahahaaa..
Just kidding.
You and your xiao mo nu nonsense.
Call me that again and i'll whack you.
Hahaa.
Always feel so zi bei whenever i stand next to you.
So tall can.
I like dwarf liddat.
=(
Hahaa.
GROW SHORTER LA, YOU 180+ GIANT!!
:]
Always the lamer.
Always cheering me up.
Thanks for all that you have done for me.
Take care.
:]

Jenny - Tigress =p

Jenny jenny wa wa~~
Haha.
I know you're so gonna whack me for this.
:]
Just wanna tell ya.
I love ya~!
And thanks for being the bestest friend ever.
Though we drift apart since Sec2.
I loved the times we spent together in Sec 1 and 2.
So fun.
Gossip queens.
=p

Jacinda - Elephant

Jac.
I'll always remember that time.
I was crying in GZ room.
Erm.
Broke up with HY.
Then.
You came.
Comforted me.
Wiped my tears away.
Maybe you don't remember this.
But i was very touched back then.
Thanks for being...
Such a great friend.
I love ya.
:]

Shih Han - Dino

Hahaa.
4 years le.
Together in same class, same CCA.
Fun ehs?
Those times we spent going crazy.
Thanks for everything.
If he doesn't appreciate you.
Someone else will.
That i'm sure.
:]
*hugs*

Felicia

^^
Gz rawks!
I'll always remember the times we spent together.
Laughing.
Oy,
Your laughter hohs.
Infectious lei.
Don't spread la.
Hehehehe.
*hugs*
Thanks for being so cheerful and bubbly.
And being such a great friend.
*muacks*

Wan Xuan - Pig

Zhu zhu!
Hahaa...
Remember the times we spent in the chalet?
Fun hohs?
Hahaa.
I will always remember the times we spent together trying to organise stuff.
Outings, events.
Cultural potpourri.
How we cried like siao during Weilong's last cultural potpourri performance with us.
How we lost hope.
How we pulled through everything
Being the super unreliable vice-chairman, i must say sorry.
And thank you...
For being so wonderful.
And so strong.
You were once the spirit of GZ.
Our strength.
And will always be.
:]
Love ya zhu zhu.

Huang Yu

I'll never thought I'll write this.
You were the first person I liked in NHSS.
First stead.
I must thank you for the memories.
And for being so sweet.
You were the first guy to give me flowers.
The first person who made me feel loved.
As a friend...
I wish you hadn't changed so much.
But peharps.
It was for the better.
:]

Jialiang

Thank you...
For forgiving me.
And for being such a good friend.
All the best.
:]

ZH

Dunno whether you'll read this.
Thanks for everything..
For all the memories.
:]
And for being such a great teacher.
Remember?
Hahaa.
Physics and A Maths tutor.
:]
All the best to you.

Yee Ching

Hahahaa.
Thanks for all the letters and advice you gave me.
I hoped I helped a litte with her.
:]

[97]

2005-11-26T19:17:00.000+08:00

PROM NIGHT~!!!
ONE COOL NIGHT.
=DDD
Hahaa.
First met up with Shiyun to get her contacts.
Then we went to Weiling's house...
Evelyn helped us with the makeup.

FINISHED PRODUCTS *lol*

Can't really see our makeup. But trust me. Before it went running, it was nice. =D

That's Evelyn nxt to Weiling. Chio hoh? =]

Then we went to meet up with Richard and Weihong they all go Crown Prince.

WAHAHAHAHAAA. OFFICIAL GRADUATES Of 2005!!

Me, Xuan and Jenny.

Shiyun and I bought the same butterfly accessory. Nice hor? Mine the nicer one. Blue. Hehehe.

GUZHENG!! I love you guys. =D *muacks* OOH. MY HAIR COLOUR IS SO DAMN OBVIOUS :D

PQ and Me.

DIDI SO SHUAI! :D
AND WHY THE HELL DO I LOOK SO SHY.
x=
He's making me feel SO TEMPTED to break my vow of liking only girls.
I DON'T WANNA BE LESBIAN LIAOX.
SHEN SHENGHUI!!!
MARRY ME~~ :D
I'm just kidding. LOL.

I'm just so freaking good at taking photos.
HAHAHAAA.
ARTISTIC NOT :D
NICE RIGHT ;]

Me and Pei Qi lao po :D So chio hor.

Ok. She just readjusted me.
I LOVE GIRLS NOW :D

Me and Fel Fel. =D

Me and Jen.

Me and Jac.

AND I JUST REALISED WHENEVER I TAKE PICTURE, ONE EYE IS SMALLER THAN THE OTHER.
DAMN.
=(
So ugly.

Class guys plus one outsider. HEHE.

Second table.

MY TABLE~ =D

Me and Clare~ =D

Ting Yang Didi =]

Jiale, Kwee How, Clare and Me =D Love ya guys. =]

Me, Fera, Clare and Liying.

My little angels C= LOOK HERE LAR!

Erm. Dots.

Bo Yuan, Zhi Qiang, Kiantong, Kwee How and Jiale.

Clare and Kwee How.. So damn cute can. ^.^

Ya. I KNOW. THEY GOT HANDBAG. I DON'T HAVE. CANNOT AH. x= But i like this pic. x)

People raving on dancefloor.

Yep.
The food was ok.
Except the dried oyster dish.
*retches*
But the dessert was nice.
=D
And our position meant that our table couldn't see a thing from the screen.
But hey.
I had fun.
Esp. on the dancefloor.
First time i went utterly crazy.
Screaming.
Jumping.
Playing the "too too train" game.
Lol.
Kinda funny.
How all of us act like kids.
Go round and round the dancefloor.
=]
Was way past caring about my "su nu" image too.
*I doubt I have one anyway.*
Lol.

Feeling pretty sad now.
I wish that we had some more time together.
As a class...
I love you all.
4o7'o5.
WE RAWK.
ALWAYS.
FOREVER~
=]

[96]

2005-11-23T18:23:00.000+08:00

Hahaa.
Dyed my hair.
Red and brown.
Wooo.
Hahaa.
On Sunday.
Met up with Shiyun at Bukit Batok MRT Station.
I was about five to ten minutes late...
But hell.
Me and Shiyun decided not to wait for the two other girls who were even later than me.
WEILING AND CLARE.
Hahaa.
We decided to go to West Mall Watson's first and choose the colours.
I had my eyes on rusty grey.
TEEEHEEEHEEE.
Ah well.
In the end, Weiling and Clare came.
Then we chose red and brown.
Went to Shiyun's house to dye our hair.
Poor me can.
Become experiment.
-.-
They test try on me first.
Lol.
We dyed quite a few more times to get a more obvious colour.
Cause it didn't really come out the first few times.
And hahaa.
Use a hell lot of water.
*Sorry hohs SY*
Hehe.
BUT I LOVE MY HAIR.
=)
Not loud.
But obvious enough.
Cool.
After that,
We went to Beauty World.
And saw Pandian Hairdressing Saloon.
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Imagine Mr Pandian blowdrying some customer's hair.
...

Mr Pandian:
You want the 18 dollars haircut or the 10 dollars one?

Customer:
*thinking that more ex haircut means better service*
18 dollars one.

Mr Pandian:
I'll teach you about Fleming's Right and Left Hand Rule... Very important. Must listen. Stop whatever you are doing now and listen...
*whips out worksheet*

Customer:
????

Lol.
I have a weird sense of humour.
I BOUGHT MY CAMERA
=D
MOUTHWATERING 8.1 mega pixel cybershot DSC-N1 digital camera!!
Gorgeous touch-screen.
Slideshow.
Picture editing.
All at a whooping price of 839 bucks.
But I bought at Mustafa.
So.
Cheaper compared to usual price of 899.
=)))
Can take pictures on prom nite le
=D

[95]

2005-11-19T20:54:00.000+08:00

OMG.

So cute can.

*drools*

How can anyone look at him and NOT DROOL?

...

Wahahahhaa.

The freaking O's are finally over!

Allow me a few moments to unwind myself.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Teeheeehee.

Ah well.

I would like to apologise to Shirong for accidentally pushing down her entry proof into the locker area.

Into that teeny weeny little space behind the lockers of 4o1 classroom.

Lol.

Actually it was kinda funny.

Cause we were thinking that maybe in another few million years...

Something like that might happen.

*in the future. people have weird names.*

Teacher: Class, I have got something to show you... Something very interesting!

*whips out Shirong's laminated entry proof*

Teacher: TADAA!!

Class: ...

*stares blankly at teacher*

Teacher: ... It's something my family has passed on for generations... an entry proof!

Loony Norman: WTF is that?

Teacher: Mind your language or i'll wash out your mouth with soap.

Loony Norman: Shit. I so scared lor.

*rolls eyes*

Teacher: Shit comes from the anus not the mouth.

Loony Norman: KNS.

Teacher:

*choosing to ignore that last comment*

Well, for our history lesson, i thought i would like to share this with you. As you may know, our current Prime Minister Mr Tan Tok Kok is currently trying to emphasis the importance of knowing our country's history well.

In the past, the people, at your age of 16, takes a prestigious examination called the GCE O' LEVEL EXAMINATION. They are then, based on their academic results, split into different colleges. They would then pursue their education there. Now, we have freedom to choose whatever we like to study. In the past however, they had a more limited choice of selecting their subject combinations.

Loony Norman: KNN? Exam? Now we don't even have to take lor... Screw loose izzit? Waste time sia...

Teacher: Well. In the past. The names are a lot weirder too. Like for example, this entry proof belongs to a pupil called Woo Shirong.

*struggles to pronounce the name*

Loony Norman: WAHLAO. SO HENG AH. NAME SO NAN TING. Unlike mine. So haoting.

HAHAHAA.

Sorry ah.
I nothing better to do.

So lame.
HAHAAA.

And Shirong.

Your name is nice.

Honest.

Just a joke.

Heee.

And wow.

I didn't realise I've become so vulgar.

Must be all the blogs i've been reading recently.

*shrugs*

Went out with my mum to Plaza Singapura today.

I FINALLY BOUGHT ERAGON - ELDEST~~!!

I read the first book.

And fell in love with it.

CHRISTOPHER PAOLINI RAWKS!

I can't wait to read it.

I've been waiting for Eldest to come out like...

One year already?
Enough said.

READ THE BOOK IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YA.

And wow.

Do i miss shopping.

There's this new shop at PS called I.P. Zone.

I bought black boots from there for 19.00 dollars.

Tons of people buying the same kind I chose.

I GOT GOOD TASTE.

HAHAA

19 dollars.

Cheap right.

I love good bargains.

Nice and thick.

Can wear to Korea.

Hehe.

Then this gorgeous looking sweater and jeans.

Oh my.

I'm such a shopping addict.

ni de hao... wo bu hui qu xiang. ying wei... wo bu xiang zhuo... di san zhe.

[94]

2005-10-15T22:24:00.000+08:00

Talked to AKK yesterday.
Hmm.
I must say I had an... interesting POV from him.
First thing he did was to ask after my stead.
...
So I told him.
He laughed at me.
"You noob."
He continued giving me an extensive explanation of how guys only want to take advantage of girls.
I was like...
0.o
"Er... OK."
Haha.
But i didn't really take it to heart.
Cause...
Well.
He's the diao er lang dang sort.
Talk crap all the while.
But he gave me the typical opinion of a jerk.
Hehs.
It reminded me of the "vivid" description Ivy gave me earlier in school.
Nevertheless.
It just pulls me out deeper.
Good good.
Another layer over the heart.
Harder...
Much harder to break.
Qiu Jian commented that I seem to fall easily.
I guess so.
As long as someone treats me well, I'll repay.
Immaturity?
Definitely.
Sigh.
But at least.
I'm out...
From this "game" of love.
Or is it even love?
God knows.
Sigh.

diyichi is a good guy.
Lol.

[93]

2005-10-05T08:20:00.000+08:00

Weak...?
I admit I am.
Over-bearing?
Yes, I am.
Can't YOU be the one to tell me?
And you said it wasn't me...

I accepted u for your faults yet you couldn't accept mine...

Yawns.
In school now.
Just did the stupid SEM survey.
Slept at 1230 yesterday.
Piangz.
Feel terrible sia.
Eyes hurt.
Hais.
Later still got maths test.
*sobs*
Ah well.
It's part and parcel of life to experience setbacks.
*laughs*

[92]

2005-10-02T19:08:00.000+08:00

Oh yeaa.
MAPLE MAPLE MAPLE!!!
x)
Partied with Clovis yesterday.
Lol.
I tell you.
I tell you.
I tell you.
We rawk man.
Lol.
He was remarking that we make a good team.
"You chiong, I cover from behind."
-.-
I no choice ma.
Have to chiong.
Who ask me warrior.
Must do near damage.
He pro ma.
Bowman.
Can do far damage.
I suay.
LOL.

Sigh.
I love my results to bits man.
Screw it all.
D7 for A maths.
*jaw drop*
Nothing to say.
-.-
But.
I'M SO PROUD OF MY HCL SUMMARY!
24/25.
=)
English paper 2...
37/50.
Good enough for me.
Hope my paper 1 do well enough to get an A1 for English...
*crosses fingers*
I got an A1 for my bloody combined humanities.
Scraped through.
=)
Hope they don't moderate downwards or something though.

Went to cut my hair today.
I hate it.
So short.
Nonetheless...
A new start ehs?
=)

Then.
Went to the pet shop at the so-called Teban Gardens Shopping Mall.
-.-
It isn't even NEAR a mall man.
It's like...
Provision shops?
I went to get some pet food for Rocky.
Ginger was there...
This gorgeous golden retriever.
She's a little afraid of strangers though.
I patted her and she siam-ed to the end of the shop.
-.-
And there was another gorgeous looking, larger male golden retriever in the shop.
Oscar.
^^
I squatted down to pet his head.
I didn't expect him to press his head into my chest.
>.<
Ti ko.
Well.
Sign of affection?
...
Maybe.
Lol.
Or maybe he sensed my sadness or something.
He was nice to cuddle.
^^
Nice, warm pillow.
I was like...
"AWWWW."
Then.
He BIT me.
-.-
Ok lar.
Not really bite.
But play-bite.
I got a shock when he tightened his grip when I tried to pull my hand out.
O_O
Then I tried again...
He let go.
*whew*
Dogs.
Guess I can trust them even more than humans.
Hahaa.
What an irony.

I believe in karma retribution.
I got what I deserved.
For letting them down...
I got what I deserved.
I've cleared all the debts I've incurred...
I'm not going to go on another one again.

[91]

2005-09-29T21:32:00.000+08:00

如果難過　請妳忘了我

[90]

2005-09-29T21:10:00.000+08:00

I guess.
I cracked earlier than i thought i would.

...
I don't deny the fact that I feel lost right now.

[89]

2005-09-29T08:22:00.000+08:00

Haha.
Lemme think.
How many days before i finally CRACK?
3 more.
And I swear.
I'm gonna put an end to this madness.
I cannot take it anymore.
I guess.
I...
Can't take another day of tears.
Soon...
It won't be just sadness.

[88]

2005-09-08T12:09:00.000+08:00

7 September 2005!!
9.22 p.m.
*big grin*
^^

Prelims are coming...
Sian.
I like this song.

Where you are by Jessica Simpson feat. Nick Lachey

There are times
I swear I know you're here
When I forget about my fears
Feeling you my dear
Watchin over me
And my hope seeks
What the future will bring
When you wrap me in your wings
And take me:

[Chorus]
Where you are
Where you and I will breathe together
Once again
We'll be dancing in the moonlight
Just like we used to do
And you'll be smilin back at me
Only then will I be free
When I can be
Where you are

And I can see your face
Your kiss I still can taste
Not a memory erased
Oh, I see your star
Shining down on me
And I'd do anything
If I could just
Be right there:

[CHORUS]

Then I will be free
So take me where you are
Now baby there were times when selfishly
I'm wishing that you are here with me
So I can wipe the tears away from your eyes
And make you see
That every night while you are dreamin
I'm here to guard you from a far
And anytime I feel alone I close my eyes and dream of
Where you are

Where you and I can breathe together (and we will breathe together baby)
Once again (oh, we'll be dancing in the moonlight)
We'll be dancin in the moonlight Just like we used to do
And you'll be smilin back at me (only then will I be free)
Then I will be free Baby I still believe
Oh I've got to believe I will touch you that sweet day
That you take me there
Where you are
I still believe
Oh I've got to believe I will touch you that sweet day
That you take me there
Where you are
Oh where you are
I've got to believe I'll always be waiting here
That sweet day yeah
Only wanna be where you are I still believe

Hehe.
I think the last paragraph doens't really make any sense cause they're repeating after each other.
But the song's very sweet.
Romantic.
Hahaaa...

[87]

2005-08-22T18:34:00.000+08:00

Subconsciously.
She knows.
That familiar scence renacting in her mind once again.
The window.
The night sky...
The stars untwinkling and cold.
The rush of adrenaline as she nears it.
Her mother beckons her closer.
She draws back, afraid.
She holds her mother's worn hands tightly.
"I'll jump if you don't do it!"
The girl starts tearing, shaking her head.
No...
Not again...
Why??...
WHY??
Please listen to her...
Please.

The girl wakes up.
Startled...
But still crying.
As if she's a little girl once again...

[86]

2005-08-21T11:10:00.000+08:00

I've been robbed of my heart.
*smiles*
i'm in love with a fully grown monster.
><

Went to West Mall yesterday.
^^
I have devised a theory.
Little girls are angels.
Adults are mortals.
Because they have lost their innocence?
Hahaa.
And little boys are monsters in the making.
Guys are fully-grown ones.
x)))
Hahaa.
Kidding.
Guys who visit my blog.
please don't clobber me when you see me next time.
Hahaa.

West Mall brings back memories though.
^^
Primary school outing.
Ahhh.
That was fun.
Played in the arcade and Miss Lim paid for us.
><
Hahaa.

Well.
Went to meet ZH in the arcade.
He was busy playing.
-.-
And then.
We went to KFC to eat.
And I successfully grossed him out with my cheese fries.
^^
Was writing some words with the extra cheese.
=))))

Then I met Shih Han.
Went to buy Victor's present.
A shirt and a .... lolx.
Nvm.
Haaha.
Shih Han then went to watch a movie with Guan Qun and Jingying.

Then I went to find ZH again.
Again busy playing.
But on second thought.
Arcade.
Don't play...
Then do what?
...
><
Right.
Then we walked about a bit.
And stood at the rail near the escalator...
And just talked for about 45 mins+??
I was happily amusing myself with the antics of the crowd below.
There was a guy who was koping the food from the display.
Hahaaa.
It was fun.
><

...
I'm feeling.
Utterly blissful.
x)

[85]

2005-08-19T20:51:00.000+08:00

Right.
I dug up a story i once wrote last year.
Lol.
During the "depression" period.
Oh.
JUNYANG OUT.
=(((
Sigh.
Don't wish to comment.
Sigh.

Oh yea.
Shenghui.
YOU RAWK.
Lol.
Thanks for the honey.
^^
Damn sweet of you.
I very touched lei.
Hahaaa...
;)

Today.
Oral.
Ok.
Gone case.
I was the third last person.
We were talking about our school's "uninvited guests", and crapped a lot while waiting for our turn.
Pretty fun.
Glad i got to know YK better.
Lol.
Ours were two male examiners.
I shocked one of the examiners.
The cuter one.
Hahaa.
He gave me a ... O_O??? look, when i commented that the floor in the picture was wet.
And he stared at the picture.
With a rather spastic look on his face.
He seemed fairly amused by what I had to say.
><
...
Guess i sounded dumb or something ba?
And i crapped up something about a orchid exhibition for the conversation.
Which isn't even true.
LOL.
I thought of the orchid exhibition when an image of a flower came to my mind.
Surprisely the examiner even asked me whether i had to pay to get into the exhibition.
I was...
"HUH?? You want to go ah?"
-.-
But of course i didn't say that out loud.
Hahaa.
And my reading totally sarked.
Bahhh.
I'm so disappointed.
But i think.
I can pass??
*crosses fingers*
There goes my English.
BAHH.
Oral's the only section i score in.
=(
Right.
Gotta oncentrate on HCL to get my L1.
=((((((

[ A Broken Heart ]

2005-08-19T20:04:00.000+08:00

[ A Broken Heart ]

All this while, he had tried to talk to her, and she had given him harsh replies. The thought of being friends had tormented her, drove her so crazy, that she begun to treat him harshly. She longed to tell him the truth. She wanted to take him by the hands, look into his eyes, and tell him that she still loved him deeply. She did not want to be the strong person that everyone thought her to be. Everyone thought she was the happy go lucky sort, always laughing, her eyes full of spirit... Everyone thought that she had got over him quickly. But no. She would never be able to do so. All she wanted was to get him back.

"But is that possible.. now?" She sighed deeply. Tears slid out from her eyes. She wiped them away before they could stain the letter that he had written to her before. She breathed in deeply, and stopped crying. Then, she folded the letter delicately, and slid it under her table. The words still touched her as they did once before, but now... It seemed as though it had all been a lie. The promise of protecting her, loving her... had shattered into a million pieces that day. He had broken her heart, ripped it heartlessly, making it unable to be mended back again. She knew... he had lost feelings for her. Yet... she could not help but wonder why he had made the promise. Had their love for each other not been strong enough? Had she done something wrong? She felt as though her head would burst. Every thought cut her deeply in her heart, driving her deeper into the depths of her thoughts, driving her insane. Every night, she would have to cry herself to sleep. No one knew that she was bleeding inside... and no one cared.

She suddenly felt empty. This time, she did not even realise that she had begun to cry yet again. A teardrop fell onto her penknife on the table, glinting in the light of the table lamp. She glanced down. She laughed as she took the penknife, sliding the blade out. She stared at the shiny, clear blade, gazing at the teardrop that looked so beautiful in the pallid gleam of the light. Her life had once been beautiful too. Her tears mingled with her blood as she cut herself. She did not feel the deep, sharp clarity of pain that she had expected. It was more of a dull, throbbing thud, and part of her mind registered that with surprise. She laughed again, amused by the thought that her mind was too numbed with pain to think properly. Sliding down against the wall, she stared at the cut on her wrist, that gaping, red and ugly wound. She watched in fascination as the blood gushed out from her wound. It seemed as though it would never end. But she knew. It would end eventually. The blood dripped slowly, forming a dull, red pool on the floor. Every drop sapped her of her energy. Somehow, the sight of her own blood seemed to sedate her, as she drifted off into a deep sleep...She was so tired...

[84]

2005-08-17T18:49:00.000+08:00

Hahaa.
Gosh.
I can't believe i'm so tired out by all the tests recently.
Still got two days to endure.
And oral to go.
Gosh.
=x
Lucky got didi pei me.
Thanks ah, Shenghui.
For giving me emotional support.
^^
Oh yea.
JUNYANG CAME TO OUR SCHOOL TODAY.
The class guys were jealous of Junyang's good looks.
And they disfigured Junyang's picture on the papers!!
AND JUNYANG RAWKS.
HE DOES NOT SARK!!!
Lol.
But i shall not blame them for their childish jealousy.
They not as shuai as Junyang ma.
Hee.
Kidding.
(:
Well.
Guess his main motive was to get votes from us la.
Hees.
Jungyang's laughter so funny.
x)
He sang a bit of Jie Kou, cause he said he had a little problem with his throat.
^^
Junyang rawks.
(:
Fell in love with his voice when he sang Jie Kou that time.
Nice.
^^
I remember listening to it 200+ over times (According to my mp3 player. hees) for the next two days.
That song brings back a lot of memories.
Sighh.
I think i'll head back to Biology.
-.-

[83]

2005-07-30T20:19:00.000+08:00

zai ren qun zhong...
xun zhao ni de bei ying...
cha shen er guo...
wo hao xiang yong yuan dou zhao bu dao ni.
er ni ye chong wei chang shi guo xun zhao wo...
wo qi shi hen nan guo...
wo men hao xiang shi liang ge shi jie de ren.
dan shi...
wo yuan yi chang shi.

Recently.
Fell in love with Kelly Clarkson's "The Trouble With Love Is".
Was listening to it as i made my way to the library.
Repeatedly.
Over and over again.
I love the song...
Especially the parts in white.

The Trouble With Love Is
Love can be a many splendored thing
Can't deny the joy it brings
A dozen roses, diamond rings
Dreams for sale and fairy tales
It'll make you hear a symphony
And you just want the world to see
But like a drug that makes you blind,
It'll fool ya every time

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride

The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See, you got no say at all

Now I was once a fool, it's true
I played the game by all the rules
But now my world's a deeper blue
I'm sadder, but I'm wiser too
I swore I'd never love again
I swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn't worth the pain
But then I hear it call my name

Every time I turn around
I think I've got it all figured out
My heart keeps callin' and I keep on fallin'
Over and over again
The sad story always ends the same
Me standin' in the pourin' rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two
...

...
Well.
I apologise.
For everything i've done recently.

[June] Sorry. I was such a bitch. I know.

[Zi Hsuan] You know what i mean. I'm sorry.

[ Xue Yuan] I'm sorry. Especially Xue Yuan. I know the issue gave you many problems. You're a good chairman you know. =)) I'm sorry for stirring up the feelings of the class. I know they're giving you problems now. I'm really really sorry. I wanted the best for the class... yet it created so much more unhappiness. I thought the unhappiness wasn't caused by me.... But now, I know. I'm the sole cause of this f***ing mess. Sorry.

[ Jialiang] I think I gave you a fright. LOL. Never see me in such a rage before right. Sorry. Thanks for talking to me though.

[Wenlin] Well. I appreciate the phone call. Really. I really do. You told me a perspective I ignored. Thank you. =))

[82]

2005-07-29T15:12:00.000+08:00

Even heroes have the right to bleed...
Maybe they were right about you after all.
You're selfish.

Oh poor poor little ones!
Poor beggars!
Children who've lost their parents!
Poor poor little ones!
They have no one to look after them, and their days are so hard...
Just so hard.
They cry..
because of a good reason.
Who am I to cry?
Am I pitiful?
Am I like those who have to pass away before saying goodbye to their loved ones?
Lovers torn brutally apart...
Parents who watch their children suffer...
And fade away.
No!
I'm much more lucky,
Yes...
So much more lucky.
Who am I to cry?
The tears i shed are of cowardly reasons.

The caste system of the class?
Let's face it.
You're just unhappy because your voice isn't heard at all.
If they don't make the decisions...
Who will?
If they don't force others to make decisions and follow the majority, then what happens?
Yet...
They don't listen to the little grumbles of the class.
"Say something!"
No...
What for?
It'll all go unheard anyway...
You dumb fool...
Don't you understand?
If they did listen to everyone,
nothing would be solved...
Nothing would be done.
You poor poor fool...
Stubborn fool....

I wonder why you seem to get so lucky all the time...
You always seem to have someone who cares about you behind your back...
Once....
You loved.
You were betrayed.
And hurt.
Then.
You loved.
You betrayed.
You lost.
You regretted.
But alas!
All was too late!
Who bothers about such an ungrateful soul?
You're lucky he even forgave you.
You're lucky he even talks to you...
You pitiful soul.
Never make promises you can't keep...
Never promise another something you can't do.
Never say those three words-
"I love you."
...if you don't even know you'll say the same thing again.
You'll never know how much these words can hurt another's soul...
Memories!
Alas,
I don't deserve to be in your memories...
Past, present nor future.
You're still young...
Ignorant.
And you'll never learn how to fly if you can't rise from your fall.
You deserve what you're going through now.
But he doesn't...
No he doen't.
Why should he wait for you to fufill your promise?
Why?
He can find another who feels the same easily...
Don't ever betray him.
But why wasn't he there when i needed someone....

HUIMIN. YOU'RE A FREAKING LOSER.

[81]

2005-07-24T19:37:00.000+08:00

Your face.
Your smile.
Tears.
Laughter.
I moved on.
I smiled.
I let go.
I loved again.

The scar was bleeding once again...
It'll never heal.
I'll never let another go through the same agony as you once did...
Never.

[80]

2005-07-20T08:53:00.000+08:00

May all nosy parkers die murdered in their beds one day!!!

You sark, you loser.

[79]

2005-05-22T12:12:00.000+08:00

I'm happy.
:]
Honestly.
And genuinely.
Happy.
^^
Laalalaaaa.
Heheee.

Cultural Popourri.
=)
My best memories were in the UCC.
Since Sec one onwards...
...
Hahaaaa.

Well.
We got a different room this year.
Room 14.
...
Sigh.
On Thursday...
We had rehearsal.
Then...
There was quite a long while to our turn.
So we sorta slacked about.
Started playing a game.
We switched off the lights.
Then.
Wan Xuan switched on her phone...giving her a spooky look.
Apparently.
Senseless me followed too.
And a couple of others.
Then.
I was sitting with Alfred in front of the second mirror.
Xuan was sitting in front on the mirror opposite us.
She saw something green in the mirror next to me.
Hovering beside me.
So did Jasmine.
It had features.
I got spooked out that day.

Then.
Friday.
We switched off the lights to change in the room.
Because of slow me.
They had to turn the lights on and off a couple of times.
I turned, facing the third mirror in the room.
I saw something green hovering in the mirror.
I turned away, thinking it was just my own illusion.
Then,
I heard Jacinda saying... "Oh my god."
And I freaked out.
I knew she had seen the same thing.
That day.
Me, Shih Han and Jacinda saw the same thing.
It had moved from the second mirror to the third.

Then.
We were moving the qin he.
They were placed in the darkest corner of the room.
And some suddenly fell forward.
Zhen Ning was standing there a few seconds ago.
Jasmine looked up and saw something green hovering up there.

....
Hao kong bu.
Seems that they were playing bi-xian earlier in that room.
Whatever.
Sigh.

We requested for a change of rooms.
And we went back to our own room.
^^
The one we always had.
Seng don't believe us.
Mr Chan also didn't believe us.
Sighh.
Lucky they still changed for us bah?
Hahaa.

We were slacking in the room all the way through.
Cindy helped me to suan ming using tarot cards.
Quite zun lei.
Hahaa.
Had to think of 3 guys...

[a] Sweet, long lasting, the person you like, it's an extremely good relationship. ^^
I was overjoyed at this one.
But i know it's not true.
Haaha.

[b] Sweet, but not long lasting... You think that he does not contribute to the relationship at all.
...
HOW VERY TRUE.

[c] Sweet, but you'll bian xin.
Oh no.
I had a shock at this one.
><"

Then decided to go find Shi Yun downstairs.
Darling Kit Yeng helped me find the way.
^^
Thanks.
Took photo with Shi yun in the toilet.
xP
Then.
Saw Didi downstairs.
Haix.

In the end,
we went to get something hot to drink.
Ben lai yao qing ta de.
But he stole my money.
Then i went to complain to Miss Chng.
=P
So.
In the end.
We went dutch.
--"

Then yea.
During the performance...
I think we were quite ok ba?
Hahaaa.
Then we took loads of pictures.
I'll put them up next time.
I'll miss guzheng a lot, when i leave.
Hahaa.
Very fun times.
[:

And for the first time,
I'm happy.
:]
Honestly.
And genuinely.
Happy. ^^

[78]

2005-05-15T13:37:00.000+08:00

Sigh.
Everyone's expecting me to do well.
WHAT CAN I SAY.
It's gonna be a big shockerr.

Sighhhx.
Anyway.
Went out with Clare, Shiyun, F to Orchard after Friday's papers.
Hahaaaa.
That was really fun.
Didn't know the four of us were such major gossipers.
F told me I got a bad reputation cause of her.
Lol.
What to do.
Sighhh...

[77]

2005-04-29T18:36:00.000+08:00

SYF.
I cried the moment we finished performing...
I knew all was lost.
We had been aiming for GWH...
And yet,
We performed on stage... with a standard not our usual one.
The only school that got GWH in the entire country...
PLMGH...
Our seniors said that they would rather we get gold than become robots like them and get gold with honours.
They had 40 over people.
We only had 23.
They had 4 da ji yue.
We only had 2.
They had a conductor.
We depended on ourselves.
How unfair can life get?
They provided the stands.
SO WHAT?
I cried when they announced the results.
All our hard work...
We really could have gotten it...
Yin Lao Shi.
Dui bu qi.
But hey.
WE MANAGED TO MAINTAIN THE STANDARD.
I LOVE YOU GUYS.
WE TOTALLY RAWK.
=]

4/7 Chio bus x)

4/7 Shuai ges xD

WE RAWK!!

Our Table...

Clar and me...

Hehs... 4137... The worst grp in Allamanda... =P

Sports Day... W4tch ou7 Patriots on Board

[76]

2005-03-20T11:56:00.000+08:00

She clenched her fist tight.
She bit her lip back...
She was trembling....
Not with fright.
But with anger.
The memories flooded back...
Then.
She had a vivid image of a knife being embedded in his back.
Murderous thoughts overcomed her.
She grinned.

Awww.
I'm such a sadist.
Ah well.
Depends on who treats me like shit yea?
Hahaaa.

Actually.
Being violent is definitely NOT a good sign.
Why should I cut his throat.
And get my hands stained.
Ahhh.
That sentence just complicates matters.
Hmmmm...
Someone better stop me.

[75]

2005-03-18T22:59:00.000+08:00

I'm tired...
Guilty of the following charges...

1:
For subjecting my friends to what I felt last time... I'm sorry, Qiu Jian... I miss those times too... When we had the stupidest "reunion" lunch... Wo ye chi guo po li... Bu hao shou. Wo zhi dao... Dan you shi hou, zhen de wu ke nai he.... Hao le. Wo zai ye bu xiang zhao jie kou.

2:
For not trying hard enough to help them when they needed me... I'm sorry... I'm useless huhs... a useless friend. Kan dao ni men wu zhu de yang zi, zhen bu zhi dao yao zhen yang cai hao... My kor... my di-s... haix... my mei-s... my friends... dui bu qi...

3:
For not being a good vice chairman... For not being able to help Xuan, not being able to motivate the team... Not being able to play well enough no matter how long i practiced... Three hours appears to be not enough for me. My yao zi sarks, my playing sarks, my attitude sarks... And no matter how, I can't even motivate myself.

4:
For neglecting my studies and getting shitty results... E Maths... Physics... Bio... Social studies... A Maths... Chemistry...

5:
For being a fool... and losing myself in my emotions... For letting myself sink into depression... For trying to numb myself by sleeping, sleeping and sleeping... For trying to run away from reality...

6:
For being the bitch that I am. Oh yea.

Guilty as charged...

[74]

2005-03-14T10:05:00.000+08:00

Just woke up.
Crying.
I'm feeling torn up.
Why did I have such a dream??..
Of betrayal.
Of love.
I feel so lost...
It's just a dream.
But it's so real.
I feel so hurt.
...
My guardian angel...
Why did you suddenly give me such a dream...??
It isn't helping me.
It's just killing me furthur...

Sigh.
I'll backtrack a bit.
Had my theory exam on the 12th...
At the Singapore Conference Hall.
Met Yue Xiang, Daniel... Michelle... and a couple of other ex-seniors.
Hahaa.
So qiao.
They were mostly taking grade 8.
Not like me lar.
Pathetic...
Only Grade 6 nia.
Then I went in the examination classroom 2 with Jing Ying...
Then they started slightly earlier...
Gosh...
Those two invigilators are damn chatty.
--"
Poor me lar.
I kept sighing throughout the paper.
Sit in front jiu shi zhe yang.
--"

Then...
Had a dream a few days ago.
There was this guy...
I couldn't see his face.
But i felt that he was pretty familiar...
He saw me...
Then he started scolding me...
Then... he told me ...
"Huimin ah Huimin...
Wake up lar!
Nothing's gonna come back...
Do you think you've really loved before?
If one has loved, then one wouldn't hurt the ones he love so badly...
One wouldn't treat others like what you did.
Who are you to talk about love?
Who are you to even speak of it?
Don't you think you're ridiculous?

You're arrogant.
Proud.
Pride will mark your fall, mark my words.
If you don't wake up...
If you don't start working hard...
You're gonna fail in life.
..."
That was basically what he said..
I guess...
He woke me up...
My guardian angel.
=]

But now...
Why did he give me such a dream?
It's making me feel so hurt and stupid...
Why??
I don't understand...

[73]

2005-03-06T11:24:00.000+08:00

MAJOR THANKS TO MY XIAO DI FOR GETTING ME THAT ALBUM~~
xD
See your jie so nice.
Hahaaa.
Honoured ma??
=P

[72]

2005-02-26T22:40:00.000+08:00

Haix.
I've already been online for 6 over hours.
I'm tired.
But i need something to take my mind off things.
I'm worried.
About my sciences.
Physics gone case.
Dunno how many MCQ questions gone.
I got feeling Pandian's gotta cut my head off.
^^"
Bio.
Chem.
E Maths.
Geog.
ARRGH.
Sigh.
O's chinese on Mon.
I'm so afraid and worried.
Dammit all.
Haix.
Anyway.
Got back some of my results.

English: 16/30.
*luffs*
I'm such a loser.
I got a shock myself.
Didn't expect to do so badly.
Actually only got 15/30...
Then I cried like crazy at the back.
Lucky me.
I SIT AT THE BACK.
Otherwise the whole world would know I did badly.
But hey.
I love my group.
4137 rawks.
=]
Especially Ting Yang.
He kept asking me not to cry.
Hahaaa.
Though ta jiao wo bu yao ku... wo que gen xiang ku...
But I appreciate it a lot...
Thanks, Xiao Di.
*muacks*
Hehe.
Then Simin offer me tissue.
Hahaa.
Then Clarissa started the "lame joke" thingy going about.
Guess it was an effort to make me laugh.
:]
I love them all.
My group rawks the universe.
;)
Haix.
But I'm pretty disappointed in myself.
Never done this badly before.
Even Mrs Tan was like...
"Don't be too discouraged."
Hahaa.
PATHETIC ME.

A Maths: 23/35
...
Haix.
I definitely expected better...
At least near an A.
Haix.

Social Studies: 11/13
:]
Better than I expected.
Was expecting a fail...
-.-

Haix.
Forget about results.
Anyway.
Today was a meaningful day.
Bwahahaaa.
Flag day.
Met up with Shih Han and Xinyi at Macs...
Then went to get my breakfast.
Xinyi nearly want to pang seh mi.
-.-
Hahaa.
Then we went to collect our tins.
Walked around at the JE interchange...
Then me, Shih Han, Xinyi, Liyi, Chermaine and Shirong decided to go to Chinatown to "ask for money" *contributed by Xue Yuan* =P
We split up...
Then me and Shih Han went around Chinatown..
We were lucky...
Not many rejected us...
The worst situation was when the person pretended not to hear...
And floated past us.
HAH.
x=
How mean can i get.
Haha.
Anyway.
We kept seeing this 2 guys from another school... "asking for money" as well...
...
-.-"
He asked us how come we came all the way to Chinatown.
Very good question.
THEN WHY THE HECK ARE YOU THERE!!???
*ahem*
Nvm.
-.-"
Then after that.
We went to Little India.
On the way, Chermaine was like yawning all the way.
Loudly.
x=
And Xinyi was like...
"We must be the ambassadors of Nan Hua..."
Lol.
Chermaine stil yawned like crazy anyway.
Hahaa.
Then Shirong was like so damn funny.
Hahahaa.
Nvm.
4o7 rawks.
[;
Actually, learnt quite a lot today...
I now understand the "pain and torture" of "asking for money".
So when I saw NHSS de people just now,
I donated.
[:
Nice me righhtt.
=P

four zero seven
`two zero zero five* rawks [:

[71]

2005-02-26T22:08:00.000+08:00

倒頭來,
努力走下去的我,
原來還是忘不了你...
Lyrics...
...
我以為說忘記就忘記　
多麼灑脫容易
怎麼會看你一眼　
頭再一點　
眼淚又不聽話呢
難道說過去總會過去　
不是一種真理
直到相遇的一刻　
才讓我懂

以為已錯過不能再回頭　
以為走太久不能再一起走
以為想得沒錯　
以為只要對自己說　
我還好　
心情就會好一點 ..

Yuan lai wo yi zi dou shi cuo de.
Thanks girl.
:]
For letting me wake up to reality.
I've been escaping.
From life.
From everything.
And I just realised.
I'm not ok after all.

[70]

2005-02-07T20:10:00.000+08:00

Uugh.
I still have 6 pills to pop before I'm done with my antibiotics.
...
Ah well.
Pretty boring day.
Guess it's cause everyone's already in holidaying mood.

Today quite ok bah.
That stupid Mr Tan.
He chi diao wo 5 marks for the a maths test.
Bleah.
Then.
I qu tao fen shi...
Mr Tan moved to 4o6 there to check our papers loh.
Me and Ziwen were like so damn paiseh.
....
4o6 de peops were like...
"-.-??"
And Mr Pandian was like.. buay song liddat.
Hahaa.
xl
But I'm happy~~
Cause finally got gao fen.
xP
28/30...
Hehe.
I'm contented.
At least my hard work paid off.
But for English.
Uugh.
My results sarks totally yah.
19/30.
Bleah...
I shall continue to jiayou.
=]

Then....
After school, Sec 4 Gz people went to West mall...
And pigged out at Sakae Sushi.
Frankly speaking.
That time we go Seoul Garden more fun yah.
Haha.
I totally so pig lo.
Eat about...
13 plates??
Bleahs.
Lemme think...
About 2 bowls of Miso soup... ice cream... salmon, soft shell crab hand-roll... etc etc...
Hehe.
Pig-nesss.
I think I can eat more de yah.
Hehs.
Then I was so seriously put off by the service attitude of the people there.
I didn't show it...
Cause I didn't want them to control my attitude.
HAH.
We pay for service charge wan lo.
Attitude us.
What's their problem?...
I'm glad that Jenny did the soya sauce thingy.
But we hai dao that nice waiter.
Haix.

Then I left the others to eat... cause I too full le.
Then Shih Han pei me walk around before leaving.
I saw a little green bottle on display...
It had the words...
"Shi Qu De Wang Wang Shi Zhui Mei Li De"
And that got me thinking.
And his words started to revolve around in my mind again.
I wonder...
If it would be a lot worse if he had said it personally to me??
...
xl
Well.
I'm giving myself 27 days...
Then I'll fully concentrate on the O's.
Studies are, definitely, more important.
I must admit...
Kan dao ta jin tian nan guo de biao qing, wo de xin hen tong.
Ta hao xin bu zai yan... hao an jing...
But i know it's not because of me.
I'm just sad cause he is.
Hahaa.
Stupid right.
I'm proud of myself though...
For being able to think of him as him... and not as HIM.
I'm on my way to being me.
...
=D

[69]

2005-02-05T22:03:00.000+08:00

Bought S.H.E Encore album.
I watched the "Wo Ai Ni" MV.
Damn nice.
But somehow,
I still think Wei Wo Hao de MV is better.
The plot was more touching.
:]
Yep.
On the bus...
I just started listening to my ringtones.
And just stared out of the window.
Suddenly thought of something Mrs Lip said.
And started grinning.
Then for no reason.
I started to tear.

Oh god.
What the heck is wrong with me.

....
Anyway.
Beginning to feel that we have less and less things to talk about.
Great.
Drifting apart from another friend.
*sobx*

[68]

2005-02-04T21:35:00.000+08:00

Bleahhh.
Today.
Typical day.
And Meowmer is zohgn es qgni uyo-gni away on the phone.
Fine lo.
xl
...
I'm boredd.

Anyway.
Today after A Maths test...
So shuang.
Haix.
:]
I had a few questions right.
The others I not so sure.
Then...
Had GZ.
Today so lame.
Jacinda so ke ai.
Zhen Ning ask her how to see, she actually went to show him lo.
Somemore got tt "piak" sound.
Hehehee.
She's so gonna kill me for writing this in.
But heck.
xp
Then..
They were like talking and talking...
Then they say I sixteen le...
Can offically do a lot of stuff.
^^"
Fine yah.
=x
Haix.
Boring dayy.
Sian.

And Meowmer said he was proud of me.
...
Dunno lehx.
It's called qiang yan huan xiao.
...
Hai shi hen tong.

[67]

2005-02-03T21:56:00.000+08:00

Nice job, Huimin.
...
Smile.
Laugh.
Cause it's the only chance you get to be normal again.
Wheeeeeee.
Screw you.
....
=]]

I'm abnormally normal.
...
Does that make sense??
...
No.
Lol.
What crap.
I'm talking nonsense.
No one understands me.
No one.
Screw you.
Lalalalaaaa.
Ok.
Screeeeewwwwww meeee more.
....
>.<"

Doodles
in love i had lost,
in love i shall not commit;

in love i had shed tears,
in love i shall cry no more;

in love i had faith,
in love i shall not believe;

in love i had regrets...
in love i shall leave no regrets;

in love i had hurt,
in love i shall be hurt.

in love i had seek,
in love i shall deny.

I'm sick.
Very sick.

Suddenly it seems as though the world's right again.

[66]

2005-01-20T15:29:00.000+08:00

Lol.
Thanks for the tags people.
=]

Pei Qi:
Sorry ah... not purposely de. I know you care a lot. Hahaa. But sometimes, this kind of thing cannot help de ya... =( I told you le right... Hahaa. Still feeling kinda sad over it. But life still goes on yah?? Lol. I know. You should know I'm not that stupid to think so much ya. Hahaa. Thank you so much anyway. *hugs*

Victor:
Da ge ge... Thank you. Hahaa. Though we drift apart le, I know you care.. Eating chocs make me happy!!! =D Hahaa. Lol. Anyway. Wearing white-black socks is not a crime xP

Boon Chee:
Hahaaa. Wishing you a belated bday again.... =D Anyway. Thanks. =] You rawk. Hahaa.

Choon Gim:
Lol. You rawk Jie. =] Anywayyy. I starting to hate physics too. I cannot take the stress with Mr Pandian hovering over me... giving me that..." Are you sure...?" LOOK. =.=

Meowmer:
Awwww. You rawkk. Kekee. Meowmers rule the universe. Hahaa. Anyway. I said "meow" when you said "hi" during assembly. LOL. Dunno whether you noticed a not. Lol. Anywayy. THANKS A MILLION!!!! Hahaa. Your tag was super long... Hahaaaa. I agree. Maybe things aren't so bad afterall. At least he knows that I exist on this world right? Lol. Nvm. I'm super glad you settled part of your problem le. Hahaa. I also never help much ma. Just shui bian say a bit of my own opinion nia. Like very act pro liddat. =.= Hahaa. Well. If you wanna thank me, just gimme that S$3000 bucks you owe me at the end of the month can le. Lol. xP

Thought a lot during chinese lessons this week.
Sort of isolated myself.
And sat quietly to myself a while.
Just thinking.
And doodling on paper.
And thinking.
I guess I sort of have it sorted out le.
I shall not force myself on anyone.
So...
I shall just keep my feelings to myself.
I'm tired.
Hahaaa.
So is he.
...

Well.
What a week.
Kinda busy.
So darn tired of facing the two CCA teachers.
I damn sian.
I feel like doing something rash again.
Like slap them.
....
But my rashness has gotten me into trouble so many times.
...
No other options are open to me.
Gotta talk to them.
I'm just so sian of the entire situation.
I bet Wan Xuan's more stressed out than me.
Hai.
Feel kinda guilty that I'm not more capable to lighten her burden.
...
=(
I need a break from this hectic situation.
Goodness.
Someone save me.
='(

[65]

2005-01-16T20:26:00.000+08:00

I'm back again.
For a while...
I thought I was back to normal again.
Apparently not.
After that...
Didn't even realise that I was crying...
Again.
At least I still have the memories.
Still embedded deep within.
Flashes of the past.
I smile.
Yet.
I'm feeling so lost.
Disppointed.
I'm not sad.
I'm not.
...
Who am I kidding?

[64]

2005-01-16T16:53:00.000+08:00

Devastation.
Numbed.
I guess...
It's what people like to call...
"Wistful thinking".
Look at me.
I'm such a freaking loser.
Can't help but cry.
No.
I can't.
I deserved it after all, right?
Now...
It's time for my retribution.
Time for the pain and bitterness to set in once again.
I'm not complaining.
Do I have the right to in the first place?
No.
I don't.
I have to face it myself.
My own way.
No one can help.
`Cause i chose the wrong path...
Who am I to blame?
Myself.
Who am I to cry?
I don't even have the right to cry.
I don't even have the right to live.
...
I need to leave this world...
I don't belong here.
I made the worst mistake of my life...
And I'm living to suffer it.
Kill me.
Someone please.

[63]

2005-01-09T15:59:00.000+08:00

Wahahahaaa.
Yesterday was a good day.
Lol.
Anyway.
8 Jan.
Went to school early...
First thing I did was to buy something from the canteen.
Hehee.
xD
Then...
Helped Kai Lynn and Zhen Ning with their speeches a little.
Think they did a very good job overall.
Lol.
NHGZ Sec 3s rawk.
xD
Hope one of you are reading this.
So darn proud of you all lo.
Lol.
Even though I teach you all wrong thing.
=.=
What kinda lousy senior am I anyway.
Lol.
Then.
Went to watch the Mass Display.
I like NCC de ending.
Creative??...
Lol.
Then...
After the display, I was feeling kinda down.
Haix.
x=
Anyway.
CO de people so ke ai.
You walk past them...
They'll go...
"HUAN YING LAI DAO HUA YUE TUAN!"
Lol.
So fun.
Should have walked past them more.
=x
Then.
SHIH HAN, IVY, SHIYUN AND YINI THEY ALL CELEBRATED MY BIRTDAY!!!
Hahaa.
So nice loh.
They bought a cake.
Lol.
I blew out the candle before making a wish.
+_+
Hehs.
They relighted again.
Then I cut the cake with the wrong side of the cake-cutter.
=x
I'm such a loser.
Haha.
Then.
Sorta had a cake fight loh.
I went all over the place, laughing.
Poor Alfred.
Entire face got cake.
=.=
Then somemore Meowmer go put more ya.
=.=
Cruel.
Lol.
Anyway.
So gao xiao.
Meowmer zhong a lot of times.
Hahaaa.
His hair got cake loh.
Then me and Shih Han keep attacking him.
HAHAAA.
Purposely de.
;)
Then.
I went to find Jia Le.
Lol.
He refused to let me touch his face lo.
Dunno spend how long then i persuade him to let me put cake on his face.
Hahaa.
Then Kwee How.
That idiot.
LOL.
Ask him stand still.
He really stand still.
Ask him take off his glasses.
He really take off.
Ask him to close his eyes.
He really close his eyes.
Then I creamed him.
Lol.
Then he asked me what I do somemore.
Lol.
Da bai chi.
Hahaaaa.
Loved the bday celebration.
But so sad.
It wasn't perfect.... cause`... hahaa.
Nvm.
I'm already contented about the call.
YAYYS.
xDD

Notes-

Shih Han, Ivy, Shi Yun, Yini:
Wah lao. You guys rawk my world. xDDD

Pei Qi, Jacinda:
Thanks for the tee. Lol. Love it. =DDDDD

Fel:
Aw. Idiot. Lol. How could you do that to me lohs. Make me unwrap my present like siao. Newspaper after newspaper. x= Lol. Thanks so much anyway. =D

Guan Qun:
THANKSSSSS!!!! ^^

Shenghui:
OH YES. I WAS OVER THE MOON. Lol. xD Practically bounding about the room after the call. Made my day. Night. Ah whatever. HAHAHAHAA. Anyway. I think I fell in love with her liao. How. Oh man. I want to jio her be my lesbian. Hahahaa. xP Cannot cannot. Must keep all my love for *ahem*. Lol. Your hair very nice after the "styling" SH gave you. Do that more often. AHAHAAAAAA. You crazy idiot. Go "re" Alfred. He so poor thing lo. Lol. Cake in his ear. =.="

Jie Ying:
Oh man. THANKS. Hahaa. Was laughing like crazy at your tag. =.= Anyway. Went to your blog cannot find!! *horrors* Lol. You set to private?? I'm a lesbian and I ain't interested in you anyway. LOL. xD BUT I LOVE YOU ANYWAY ><

[62]

2005-01-07T19:38:00.000+08:00

Hehe.
I'm officially 16 now!!!
SWEEETTTTT.
xD
Many thanks to those who smsed me at midnight yesterday.
Hmmm.
Lemme think.

Da ge ge:
Lol. Sms me at 11.58 liddat. Hehs. U rawk. Thanks for the present. I love them all. xD

Shenghui:
Woooohooo. Meowmer. YOU RAWK!!!! LOL. 6th already wish me happy birthday liao. Power. x= Anyway. Thanks for cheering me up ya. Haix. Seems like only you got the power to make me feel better loh. Lamer. Haha. Imagine me sailing past your class. Lol. xD

Yini and Eileen:
Oh boy oh boy. How did you guys know i love tigger?? Muahhhx. Thanks SHO MUCH!!! xD

Wan Xuan:
WAHHH. I love the necklace man. Lol. Remind me of my own surname whenever I forget mine. =x Hahahaaa. Thanks so much. =D

Jenny:
Wahlao. You ah. PURPOSELY want to xia suay me. =x LOL. But i love your present anyway. Been hugging it for a long time liao. And I love you too!!! Hahahahaaa. =p

Jia Le:
Wahhhh. Siao liao. You spoil me too much man. Lol. Spent a lot lehx. x= Lol. Thanks for the chocs anywae. xD and I haven't received that thing you made yet. QUICK. LOL. Thanks!!!! =D

Wei Long:
Hehs. Didn't expect you to sms me lehs. Long time never see you liaox. Must be very tall le. ^^" I still as short as ever ya. Hahaa. Older than me by 3 hours... *jealous* Lol. Happy birthday to ya too!! =D

Choon Gim:
Gosh. JIE!!!! YOU REMEMBERED!!! Lol. Even though you were busy with your own stuff. *sobs* *hugs* Yayys. You rawk. Haha. xD

Shih Han:
-.-" Lol. My lesbian cum sister. *muackssss* ehehhee. xD

Boon Long:
Wah siao. Crazy guy. Sms me when i snoring like pig liaox. Lol. But never mind. Appreciate that you remembered my bday ya. Hahaa. Thanks for comforting me when I was feeling major down today. Rawk on.

Qiu Jian:
Don't think you'll be reading this. But hey. It's my birthday. Cannot sad kaes?? Cheer up. Friends forever gurl!! =]

Yvonne, Diana, Xue Qing:
YOU GUYS ARE SO DARN SWEET!!! Surpised me totally loh. I LOVE YA!!! *MUACKS*

Jia Liang:
Hey. Lol. Thanks for wishing me happy birthday ya. Wish fulfilled. Haha. Heard you fell asleep at 11 plus. Hahaa. Wah lao. How can liddat. Lol. Must endure ma. Lol. Don't dare reply my message ah. Hahaa. OH YAH. THAT SUGGESTION YOU MADE. LOL. I shall do that on your birthday man. Lol. =p Too bad I don't have enough strength. =.=

Maggie, Rui Hon, Stanley, Jian Hong, Pei Qi, Jacinda... and whoever wished me happy birthday, and whoever I missed out:
Wow man. You guys rawk. xDD

Oh ya. I should thank Macdonalds too ya?? Lol. Joined their club last year with Rui Hon and Jia Liang. Lol. Still remembered they wrote their names as Dr. Loo Jia Liang and Dr. Rui Hon. Lol. Lamers. And Macdonalds wished me happy birthday through sms!!! Hahahaa...

Ah well. I admit I was pretty down today. I thought my birthday wish wouldn't be fulfilled. I was kinda grouchy. Cried at exactly midnight yesterday. Was kinda heart-broken. Lol. But in the end. My wish was granted in a different way afterall.

=]

Well. During chemistry lesson... Quite paiseh. Mrs Siew saw the cushion Jenny gave me... After that the whole class started singing bday song again.... Chi and eng version somemore. Hahaha. Then... she said in her time... They used to throw people into the swimming pool. Then stupid Jia Liang said that they could throw me out of the window too. =.=" Gosh. Whatever loh. Lol.

Haix. Rather a sad birthday this year... Kinda depressing the first few hours. Sigh. But it's getting better near the end. Hahaa. =]

Yaapp. I spent the new year at the chalet at Pasir Ris with Xuan, Jac, and Pei Qi they all. Photos!! Lol. My family even surprised me with a early birthday celebration.

My mum and my dad... and of course me la. Haha.

In the chalet room =]

[61]

2004-12-23T22:45:00.000+08:00

Got my sis's wedding photos.
Helped her do a video of her ROM...
Kinda nice.
=]
Proud of my own work~~
Hehs.
She wants to show it during her chalet.
31st!!!
I asked Jac, Pei Qi and Wan Xuan along.
^^
Too bad can only ask 3.
=(

My mum made this. Cool huhs?? =] She's great at such stuff... The rings looks so nice.

My sis and Eric's wedding bands... ^^

Family group photo... =D
*my dad, mum, sis, Eric, Eric's parents... uncle looks nice in this one. lol*

Brother, Sis and I... Gosh. My brother looks so much like a gangster huhs? x= And I look so dark.... =.=

The blissful couple... =]

[60]

2004-12-21T21:06:00.000+08:00

Photos we took on the day we went Swensens... =D

7 of us + Wei Long!!!

Pei Qi and me!!! =DD

I like this one. Sisters!!! =D

Oh gosh. I look weird. =x

Tian shi liang ren~~!! * at least that's what i think it means.* x=

[59]

2004-12-20T20:56:00.000+08:00

17 Dec
We celebrated Wei Long's b-dae at Swensens.
Belated.
Wei Long showed up 45 mins late `cause he was held up somewhere.
Then.
We waited outside Swensens for a long time before we could be seated.
=.=
Low efficiency.
Then.
Jenny split her ice water over the table.
=.=
Lol.
Clumsy.
=p
Just kidding.
We ordered a cookies-and-cream ice cream cake.
Then we had to tell three different waiters to serve the cake, before they did.
xl
The 7 of us.
Siao.
Sing birthday song for him.
We were so loud.... everyone turned to look at us.
*luffs*
Cool.
Lol.
Then.
Jacinda creamed Wei Long with some cake.
So did I.
Haha.
Then, we went to Orchard.
Took lots of neos.
Finally took one with all 7 of us... and Wei Long.
The entire family.
=]
Took one neo-card with Wei Long.
Both of us Ultra-man pose.
Lol.
Love all the pics.
Even the cheeky-face me one.
Hahaa.
We went to Wei Long's house.
And cooked maggi mee.
Lol.
Wei Long showed us his drawing of me and Wan Xuan.
Wah...
Very alike.
It was so good.
Fu Wang's so talented.
=]
Then...
Wei Long loaned me all his Final Fantasy baobeis.
Hahaa.
Weets.
Thanks, Dad.
Hahaaa.

[58]

2004-12-16T16:52:00.000+08:00

Well.
Sick.
Flu.
Fever.
Cough.
=.=
Been thinking a lot during all those naps... while drifting off to sleep.
Especially when my fever was high.
Lol.
Last time, I hallucinated.
-.o
Guess who I saw.
...
Or maybe...
I just wanted to pretend.
...
I wanted someone to care.
But look.
I got well on my own, didn't I?
...
Nvm.
Got loads of stuff on my mind.
Kinda tired out.
Don't feel like caring.
I need to be alone.
Emotionally alone.
...
Wait a second.
I already am.
*laughs*
Time does erase feelings.
I dunno what the hell I'm thinking.
Or writing.
Whatever.

Raining right now.
Kinda dreary.
Like my mood.
*sniff*
I'm trapped in a cocoon of my own miseries.
Bleah.
But not so bad.
Drinking hot milo.
And Meowmer is telling me sick people should not drink milo.
Meow??
Weird reasoning.
Hahaaa.
I'm alone at home.
Mum's not there to lecture anyway.
=p
Lectured Meowmer on his choice of his nick.
goRe. re me fa.
He changed it to...
goRe. doh me soh doh. haha. hm, i prefer chords. haha. xD
-.-
Then...
goRe. no. i tink chromatic is better. hahahaha
Lol.
Lamer.
Only person who's making me feel better.
*sniffs*
Thanks Meowmer.
=D
Laughter is the best medicine??
...
TRUE.
:)

I love MSN 7.o.
Ultra cute.
=]

[57]

2004-12-11T23:02:00.000+08:00

Well.
Finally updated the class bloggy.
It's my baby.
Lol.
Eheheee.

Been feeling stressed recently.
SYF...
LOOMING UP AHEAD.
Ever so close.
Counted the days to SYF with SH.
Got a shock man.

January - Roughly 11 practices.
February- Roughly 14 practices.
March- Roughly 7 practices due to common test!!! *horrors*
That leaves only 11 practices with Ying Lao Shi!!!!

....
Stressed.
-.-

Had piano today.
Went to Big Book shop.
Wanted to buy either "Digital Fortress" or "Deception Point", but decided against it.
I should buy at Popular instead, it's much cheaper.
So much for being a poor student.
*sigh*
Then.
Went to the library.
Found a self-help book.
"Life Strageties for Teens"
*blanches*
I think i'm gonna die any moment.
I'm reading such books~~~!!
Bleahs.
Ugggh.
I hate book reviews.
Have a sore-throat right at this moment.
Hate the phelgm stuck in my throat.
And that horrible pain.
-.-"
Wahhh.
Sick during the last few weeks of the hols.
GREAT.
=(
Then after that.
Went to the cafe.
I love the ice blended Mocha.
=DDD
Then.
I sorta went to the bus-stop...
Wanted to finish my drink.
I flinched when this man spat on the display sighboard.
And I nearly puked.
Uugh.
Disgusting.
I wonder whether he noticed my glare.
I think he did.
`Cause he turned to spit another time.
This time on the grass patch behind me.
Uugh.
I hate such incosiderate pigs.
Worse of all, he's a smoker~~!!!
I can't believe he did that in front of his kids too.
Aren't adults supposed to set good examples for their kids?
....
Crap man.
=x
I'm pretty happy being a teenager.
...
-.-

Can't believe how fast time flies.
Sec 4 nxt year.
I can't bring myself to call the class 4o7.
...
-.-

[56]

2004-12-06T23:45:00.000+08:00

Well.
I shall update.
Kor's back now.
=]
Yayysss.
Boredom no more.
Lol.
And.
Happy Birthday to Jia Liang.
=]

3th Dec
Sis's wedding.
Congrats to Mr and Mrs Eric Tan.
Lol.
Well.
Didn't go to GZ that day.
Helped Sis out with some wedding preparations.
Started playing around with the cameras.
Sis gave me two digital ones, and spare batteries in case they ran out.
Then Mdm Wong called me.
Crapped to me say...
"Your sister wedding so what... Can come gz what..."
Heard she said that to the rest of the GZ members.
Okay.
Fine.
Whatever.
So much for informing you of the timing.
What the hell.
Nvm.
Sis got dressed in her gown... pink.
I thought she looked nice.
Then Sis got her friend who's a professional make-up artist to do the make-up for her.
Then she insisted she looked like Zhu Mi Mi the actress.
I thought she looked pretty ok.
Ah well.
Then Eric came.
With a huge bouquet of flowers.
Sweet.
=]
With a couple teddy bear in the middle.
Ultra sweet.
My brother looked so weird in formal wear.
Remind me of those dancers.
Kept laughing at him.
=DD
Then we went to ROM.
Waited for a while...
Took loads of photos.
I pity the bride and groom.
They had to keep posing.
Eric even rubbed the sides of his face.
-.o
Well.
Stiff from all the smiling.
Then they had the Solemnization.
I was like...
"Awww..."
When the groom kissed the bride.
Wah lao...
All the photographers zoomed in on the spot when it was time.
And he just gave her a quick peck on the lips.
-.o
Sis looked so embarassed when the priest?? told them to hold it there and let the photographers take them.
Lol.
I was laughing.
Then they went the Fort Canning Park to take pictures.
I took many of them...
They even posed for a Hindi movie kind of picture.
The tree one.
-.o
Sis said I took the best photos.
Yayyyss.
=P
Then we had dinner.
Eric's dad kept teasing me.
Ah well.
Who ask me, the second youngest there.
Talk about frog legs and prawns.
He told me, eat frog legs will run very fast, and eat more prawns will be able to swim faster.
-.-
Bro and me kept sniggering at the second table.
Lol.
Heavy duty.
-.o
Then.
I had a flashback during the dinner.
Of french fries.
I was holding the french fries...
And i sorta went quiet.
The memories came flooding back to me once again.
And i remained quiet throughout the rest of the dinner.
Dad drove us home, and passed through the place.
Where we once went.
And I sorta remembered...
Everything.
My confession.
His face.
Our first quarrel.
The first time he lied.
Smashing the glass of the fire alarm.
Our smses.
Him passing the flower to me.
Holding my hand as we explored the old, deserted school compound.....
.......
And to my surprise.
I didn't cry.
Have i finally gotten over it......???
Heaven knows.
Heaven knows.

I bet you're sleeping right now. Good night... and sleep tight.

[55]

2004-12-02T20:19:00.000+08:00

Sentosa trip on 29th.
Quite fun.
Stupid David though.
-.o
Nvm.
I'm not in a terrific mood.
Even though Sis's getting married tomorrow.
I should be happy for her.
Right..?
Guess it means we won't be so close anymore.
...
She's moving out.
I should be happy.
I'm having my own personal space at last.
Right..?
Well.
And tomorrow.
Kor's leaving as well.
=x
What a ... day.

[54]

2004-11-23T19:42:00.000+08:00

Well.
Today was fun.
Quite lar.
=)
Reached school.
Had practice from 8-12.
During break, we went to the canteen.
CO was already having their games.
And darling Yini poured water on me.
Made me wet all over.
-.-
And I blocked Shih Han from Yini's "assault".
You owe me girl.
Lol.
Then I went off to find Kor during lunchtime.
Hahaha.
Thanks for accompanying me.
=]
Then.
Helped Sec 1s in their practice.
Well.
Can't say I like their standard.
And thanks to their "good" teacher here.
Lol.
Had a nice chat with David.
Forgotten how much fun he is to be around with.
Then.
We played water bomb.
And.
David was commenting that he wanted to "tio" but luck was on his side.
Then I laughed...
Said that he sit beside me sure would "tio".
And he did.
Haha.
Somemore he was complaining of how "hot" he was.
It was raining.
-.-
Hahhh.
You deserve it.
=p
I only tio 1 once...
I was so wet...
Water was dripping off my hair.
Juang Shiow very cham.
Tio 6 times.
Haha.
Then we ran about in the rain.
So fun.
And stupid David.
Just because he's a guy, and he's tall, he takes advantage of the situation and pours water over me 2 times... with a pail.
-.-"
I shall get revenge.
And Yini.
Took my pail from me when I wanted to pour water over Victor.
Said she wanted to pour water over Shih Han.
In the end, She couldn't find Shih Han.
So she poured it over me instead.
IDIOT.
Haha.
Was shivering like mad.
Then we changed.
Had ROD.
Xia suay.
-.-
Wan Xuan not around.
So i had to give out the discs.
On stage.
Wah.
Xia suay man.
-.-
I can almost hear my shaky voice.
Arrrgh.
I'm such a loser in a crowd.
The video was funny though.
Hahaa.
Then dinner.
Then homeeee.... =DDD
Well.
Major thanks to CO!!!! =DD

Notes///

Meowmer: WOW. Lol. Great job. And the moment i reached home, i remembered that I forgot to xia suay you. -.- Well. I think the seniors didn't like the poem. =x LOL.

Kor: Well. Maybe one day we go catch it with KH and SH yeas?? =D Thanks for pei-ing me today. Ultra nice. =]

Me: Stop your moaning. Life isn't a smooth journey. Accept everything that comes to you... treat it as an experience. Get out there...a few more months and you don't have to give a damn about it. Whee. =]

You: This love has taken its toil on me....

[53]

2004-11-22T20:55:00.000+08:00

Well.
Yesterday.
Was meet-the parents day.
-.-"
We had lunch with Eric's parents.
Weird.
Eric looks like his dad.
The way they eat...
Same speed.
"-__-
Lolx.
Then.
Helped sis paint her house yesterday.
Hahaa.
Had paint all over my hands.
My dad more pro.
Had splashes of paint on his face.
-.-"
Then.
Hmmm.
Today.
Went with mum to JP.
Watched Princess Diaries 2.
Hahaa.
Darn funny.
The whole theatre was laughing non-stop.
Then.
Mum bought the fossil watch for me.
Yayyssss.
=DDD
It's so darn cool....
Lolx.
x)

Well.
Meowmer.
If you use my name in the credits...
I swear.
I'm gonna xia suay you tomorrow during ROD.
*sadistic grin*
Looking forward to tomorrow.
=D

[52]

2004-11-20T23:28:00.000+08:00

Read 2 books.
Debating on which one to write on.
The Goose Girl.
Or the Dirt Eaters.
...
Guess I'll most likely choose the Goose Girl.
But The Dirt Eaters more to write.
=.=
Well.
Been busy recently.
Tired.
Received a lot of "jiayous" from the seniors.
They are pinning their hopes on us.
And look at our standard.
*laughs*
We're seriously so below the previous batch's standard.
Their actions.
Dynamics.
The video dashed my hopes of our getting a gold.
How can we ever achieve that standard???
Is it ever possible...?
Well.
We'll see.
I watched the video Meowmer sent me.
And I nearly cried.
Wow.
Great job Meowmer.
But I'm kinda sick of watching it so many times.
-.-"
In the meantime.
Looking forward to Tuesday.
Let me see...

8-12 Sec 2 + 3 Practice
12-1.00 Lunch
1.30-3.30 Sec 1 Practice [ Sec 3 tutoring]
Sec 2 Booth
3.30-5.30 Games =D
5.30-6.00 Break
6.00-7.30 ROD

Well.
Looking forward to see the seniors cry.
Sadistic me.
*grins*

I don't need you to say the words.
You'll only hurt me more.
I don't need you to tell me what you feel.
Your actions say otherwise.
Your words only kill me.
Your words only make me grieve.
WHY???
Do you even care about what I feel in the first place??

[51]

2004-11-18T17:38:00.000+08:00

I HATE YOU.
Wei shen me. Wei shen me.
Glass.
You're right.
I am fragile.
Everything has changed.
My heart has frozen up again.

[50]

2004-11-15T13:14:00.000+08:00

Hahaa....
I have offically fallen in love with Vanessa Carlton.
Wooohoooooo.
She's got this sweet, melodious voice.
*dreamy*

White Houses
Crashed on the floor when I moved in
This little bunk alone with some strange new friends
Stay up too late, and I'm too thin
We promise each other it's till the end
Now we're spinning empty bottles
It's the five of us
With pretty eyed boys girls die to trust
I can't resist the day
No, I can't resist the day

Jenny screams out and it's no pose
'Cause when she dances she goes and goes
Beer through the nose on an inside joke
I'm so excited, I haven't spoken
And she's so pretty, and she's so sure
Maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her
The summer's all in bloom
The summer is ending soon

It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses

Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things he said
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
I sneak into his car's black leather seat
The smell of gasoline in the summer heat
Boy, we're going way too fast
It's all too sweet to last

It's alright
And I put myself in his hands
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
Love, or something ignites in my veins
And I pray it never fades in white houses

My first time, hard to explain
Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain
On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think
He's my first mistake

Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been
So I go, and I will not be back here again
I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses
I lie, put my injuries all in the dust
In my heart is the five of us
In white houses

And you, maybe you'll remember me
What I gave is yours to keep
In white houses
In white houses
In white houses

[49]

2004-11-14T14:36:00.000+08:00

Haix.
Well.
Woke up feeling disappointed.
And drained.
Guess it's known as heart-broken bah.
Haix.
Dyed a streak down my hair.
Red.
Lolx.
Kinda pointless.
Can only see it under sunlight.
But that's the point.
Hahaaa.
Anyway.
Meowmers rule.
Wooohooos.
Hahaa.

12.45 a.m 4.33 a.m. Disappointing. I am so dissappointed with you.

[48]

2004-11-13T21:50:00.000+08:00

Wheeee.
Fun fun funnnn.
Wahahaaa.

Went to Orchard with my darling Yvonne.
Sexy gurrrlll.
Short skirt.
Nice legs.
Grrrrrrrr.

Anyway.
It rained when we reached Orchard.
So we sorta walked in the rain.
We went Far East.
My hair was wet.
Took neoprints.
Twice.
Hehs.
Looked like a complete idiot with my hair stuck down at the sides.
Yuuuch.

And Yvonne looked so cool in those neos man.
Rawk on dar dar.
Hehs.
Couldn't find the fossil watch I wanted.
Hais.
Then I was hungry, so I ate KFC.
Tried the new Tom Yam Crunch.
Was quite ok.
Couldn't find a seat, so had to walk around looking for one, sneaking a few pieces of chicken into my mouth while walking about.
Imagine the sight....
Hehs.
I looked so unrefined.
Who cares anyway.
Hehs.
Then.
Went about looking for a couple ring.
Couldn't find any.

I liked one ...
"Dedicated to my loved one"
But it was too big.

Then.
Took neoss again!!
Hehs.
This time.
We got an animal skin background by accident.
Meow.
Hahaaa.
We posed like growling leopards.
Meeeeeow.

Yeasss.
Hahaa.
Kor come back le~~!!
Hahaa.
Happy happy.

Thanks to Dar Dar.
I managed to talk to him.

Yeasss.
Crapper back le.
Hehe.
Now is Shih Han.
Hais.
Nvm.
15!!
Wooohooooosssss....

Bear didn't mean to hurt Luo Han... but he did. Wo hao xin tong.

[47]

2004-11-12T01:23:00.000+08:00

Heys.
Changed the layout.
Or rather.
Was forced to.
Accidentally deleted off my template.
And was far too lazy to create a new one.
*Yes Jerry, I took someone's template.*

Hehs.
Well.
I like this layout too.
Anyway.
I lost all my links.
So if you want to be linked again.
Tag me yeas.

Well.
Wednesday was eventful.
I had GZ.
Asked Xiao Wei to teach me.
Wow.
Shifu.
You rawk man.
Hehs.
Ying Lao Shi never scold me.
Only comment on my yao zhi.
Yi duan yi duan.

Though overall.
I did quite ok.
I think.
Then after gz...
I talked to Fera.
I realised that I had changed.
A lot.
From the past... to now.
I need to return to the old me.
The ~~innocent~~ me.
Then.
I had ~~him~~ chasing me...
Apologizing.
While I was buying Mrs Foo's milk tea.

Mrs Foo knows who to make use of.
Haix.
I didn't know quite how to react.
So i chose the best way.
Ignoring ~~him~~.
Then...
Well.
I guess i forgave ~~him~~.
Cause I couldn't help laughing.

And because.
It wasn't his fault.
Sigh.
Then.
Slacked through Chemistry.
Copied for Shih Han.
Oh man.
I miss Shih Han and Jia Le so much.
Only Kwee How and me.
So stupid sia.

Today.
Went to grandma's house.
Had fun.
Hehs.
Went to eat laksa.
Had Rocky with me.
Then two men commented in Hokkien,
"How come the dog wear shirt never wear pants."

LOL.

Yep.
I did a lot of self-reflection.
Again.
This time.
A lot more.
And I cried.
A lot more.
Time to pick up the pieces....

[46]

2004-11-09T22:22:00.000+08:00

So sad.
Shih Han go Taiwan.
Jia Le's leaving for Malaysia tomorrow.
Now only me and Kwee How left in our group.
Depressing thought.

Kor ahs.
Must buy present for me.
Hehs.

Then.
Been thinking a lot these few days.
About the promise I made to him.
...
He told someone...
That promises are meant to be broken.
Are they...?
Should I?...
No.
I shouldn't.
...
Bleah.

Talked to Jia Le on the phone just now.
Lecturing me on GZ.

So...
Been doing a lot of soul-searching.
I am such a useless person.
I can't do my part for GZ.
I don't do well in studies.
I don't even understand all the new topics.
Darn.
I sark at piano.
The stupid fingering thingy in the Sonata in C is giving me a big headache.
I sark at GZ... G major.
So.
I decided.
To stop lazing around.
Do my part.
And stop being so irresponsible.
Yeps.
That's what I'll do.

Cute ehsss...??
Credits to my darling yvonne!! x) *muackss*

i'm not the girl you used to know anymore... i don't care if it seems impossible. I want to try one last time. One last time... before I leave this school. I want Seng to regret what she did to us. I want her to change... for GZ. For our juniors. If we fail to get the Gold this time... at least we know we did our best. We strove hard for the future of our juniors.

[45]

2004-11-05T20:40:00.000+08:00

Oh yea.
I play with people's feelings.
You think I don't know how it feels to have my feelings played with?
You think I want to bring such pain to him?
So I'm such a bitch to you.
I don't blame you for thinking that way.
Yeo Huimin.
Way to go.
You deserve it.
I have such a messed-up life.
Now get this.
I don't wanna think anymore.
I don't wanna get involved anymore.
If I have to,
I'll be a nun.

[44]

2004-11-01T18:10:00.000+08:00

You're confusing me.
With your words.
With your voice.
I'm losing my senses once again.
~~ilu~~

I think I'm losing it.
Feeling lost once again.
I'm just avoiding it.
Sheesh.
He's right.
I know.
I just can't accept it.
I don't need your pity.
Do I?...

Had Chinese today.
Pretty ok.
Though I don't think I can get the A1.
Nevermind.
I did my best.

When the visions around you
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you
Are secrets and lies

I'll be your strength
I'll give you hope
Keeping your faith when it's gone
The one you should call
Was standing here all along

And I will take you in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
'Til the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you

I've loved you forever
In lifetimes before
And I promise you never
Will you hurt anymore

I give you my word
I give you my heart
This is a battle we've won
And with this vow
Forever has now begun

Just close your eyes
Each lovin' day
And know this feeling won't go away
'Til the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you

Over and over I fall
When I hear you call
Without you in my life, baby
I just wouldn't be living at all

And I will take you in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
'Til the day my life is through
This I promise you, baby

Just close your eyes
Each lovin' day
And know this feeling won't go away
Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Every word I say is true
This I promise you
I promise you